RUGGED EDGE – Gangs in Heat / Two Face 7”

No Label – Miami – 1986

I usually tried to avoid seeing these guys – back in the day. I didn’t always succeed. Around 1986, I was fairly sick of watching a bunch of dudes clobber each other on the dance floor to a unwavering loud dull roar. Two face is a slower, unspectacular song – and dumb. Gangs in Heat is similarly dumb, but has a nice Motorhead-thing going. I will have to do more research (buy their other record(s)) to determine if I was wrong to avoid these ne’er-do-wells.

GODS DICK – Shitlife 7” EP

No Label – Boca Raton – 2009

Last Knife

Phud Hong

God$ Dick

Shitlife

Mid-knife Crisis

One Knife to Live

Amos White – guitar, vocals

Micah Grahat – bass, vocals

Mike Pineyro – drums, vocals

I can’t imagine a sane person, viewing this for the first time, feeling it’s worth their $5.00 ($5.00 is really $5.00 again!!!). Gods Dick is a terrible name for a band – I’m almost offended and I’m a heathen. The cover’s gaudy and ridiculous and ultimately pretty fukkin’ sad (but sealed the deal nonetheless) – and then there’s the song titles. I was pretty sure this was going to be a piece of shit in one fashion or another. One listen and I started to wonder if these guys were complete retards or perhaps………… students of Faxed Head. A quick check of Myspace confirmed it. Gods Dick are brilliant enough to be retards! You get proggy, punky metal with grunting vocals and slightly nihilistic overtones that had me rolling on the floor. But – I’m laughing with them, not at them. Easily the best $5.00 non-alcoholic purchase I’ve made this year. I am proud to be a Floridian once again.

SPAWN SACS – Assholes of the Night EP

No Label – Miami (1997?)

Quannah –drums

Tom – microphone

Raul Ices – bass

Bryan – ass

Kerb- whiskey

Cinque – guitar

Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun City

Buy Now Pay Later

Dizzy

Real Situation

Assholes of the Night

It could be argued that the Spawn Sacs are a Tennessee band – but they drifted down here long enough to record this record and list a Florida address. Bob Marley wrote one of these songs for them. Each song is louder, faster and uglier than the last one (not quite HC, but the 80's HC influence is there), culminating in their raison d’etre “Assholes of the Night”. The Sacs were well known for their superhuman drinking abilities. Also, one of the best cheap-ass covers I’ve seen.

FEEBLES – To Clone a Mammoth / Marilyn 7”

No Label – Miami (1995)

Jimmy the Brain (?) – vocals, guitar

Tim Vaughn (?)– drums

Some other dude - bass

It’s unclear if the band’s name is a tribute to the Peter Jackson movie “Meet the Feebles” or the real life abilities of certain members of the band. My rapidly degenerating memory tells me that this band included Jimmy the Brain Sevigny (brother of actress Chloe Sevigny and leader of the Human Oddities, I am told) and Tim Vaughn (KLS). I could be wrong. They sound reminiscent of said Human Oddities. Songs are fast quirky punk concerning cloning of a wooly mammoth and an undying love for the brain and ass of Marilyn Vos Savant (the world’s smartest person – thanks Wikipedia). I'll put it in the plus column.

LARAMIE DEAN You Can Almost Smell the Rubber Burn 7” EP

No Label - Hollywood (1999)

Four Barreled

The Last Lap

Praang

Aluminum

Laramie Dean – guitar

Geoffrey Hicks – bass

James Cable – drums

Surf-rock from Hollywood with car noises. I’m not an aficionado of this type of music – but it’s cool in short doses – the beauty of the 7” record – an LP would drive me up the wall. Other incarnations of this band have included such South Florida luminaries as Juan Montoya, Laura Simpson and Dominic Sirianni. Nice cover art by Mr. Montoya.

MINIMUM WAGE – Please do not buy this if it costs more than 95c EP

No Label – Miami (1986)

A Bad Reception

Hanger

Food Song

Gega-Del

I see a major inferiority complex at work here. The band’s name, the record’s title, the fact that no band names or writing credit is listed gives me this impression. The going rate for a 7” record in 1986 was probably $2.50 or $3.00 – I’m not sure why they felt their work was only worth a fraction of that. A truly annoying singer singing truly annoying lyrics does not help. The rest of the Minimum Wage are not that dynamic either, though they were ahead of their time in that they sound more like a bland 90’s or 00’s indie rock band than an 80’s band.

FROG -- Untitled 7"

Self-released -- Gainesville (1992?)

There are no song titles on this record because there are no songs, and no personnel listed because there are no personnel. It is just Frog with his scraping, squeals and hisses. I don't know how he made these mostly unrecognizable noises, I guess it something you learn how to do at UF's art school. Forget I mentioned it.

DIE STINKIN' -- H.M.F.U. 7" EP

Diestinkin@hotmail.com -- West Palm Beach (2004)

Baby, I Love Dope
Hey Man Fuck You
Can't Shake it Loose
Dropout

John - Guitar, vocal
Brian - drums, vocal
Eric - bass

This band has been around, more or less, since 1985 and even on this self release they still don't pretend to have a record label. This is indicative of this unpretentious, fun punk band. When they snarl that they don't care, believe it.

It's probably all the cannabis. The first and best song on this EP is the live crowd favorite 'Baby, I Love Dope,' which captures the band's live-free-and-die credo nearly as well as their earlier classics 'Kids Keep Smoking Pot' and 'Beer' from their 'Smell is in the Air' full-length. There are no songs here about global warming or abolishing the Federal Reserve. All four on this EP are quick, memorable.

The two founding members of the group, on guitar and drums, are veteran Palm Beach County lifeguards and there is a beach feel to some of their songs, but this is not overwhelming. The music is upbeat punk rock with clear, clever, humorous lyrics. The addition of Eric Ridgemont on bass in the early '00s added new comic energy to this already highly energetic trio (sometimes a quartet). For an example, see here.