GHOST AQUARIUM – Light Cannot Escape /Spiritual Cramp 7”

Ripping Records – Orlando (2006)

Ron K – guitar, bass, vocals

Mike Q – drums

Doesn’t sound as spooky as the cover would have you believe. Songs are well played and interesting – just too fast to be spooky. The A-side reminds me of a less friendly (or less stoned) Dinosaur Jr. B-side is a little more distorted and a Christian Death cover. I’m not sure if the Ghost Aquarium is a real band (playing guitar and bass at the same time would be tough for Ron K) or more of a Runnamucks Halloween party. It’s good – track it down & get it.

DEREK LYN PLASTIC – Methamphetamines EP

Florida’s Dying – Tampa (2006)

D Duncan

R Knight

D Bram

D Woodard

PJ Woodard

Methamphetamines

Waste My Time

Walk the Dead

All My Fault

Great record and another good example of the Machine Gun Etiquette rule – start out with one of your best songs and follow it with a song almost as good, but twice as fast. Can’t lose that way. Methamphetamines has great off-kilter guitar and keyboard riffs and features opinions that would not be endorsed by the Drug Czar. Waste My Time is like 30 seconds long, but a very effective 30 seconds. Side two is great too – it only suffers in comparison to side one. Stellar – track it down & buy it!

CAPSULE – Voluminant 7” EP

CAPSULE – Voluminant 7” EP
Makeshift Origami – Miami (2006)

You Will Need
Voluminant
Lukewarm

Colin
Eric
Shane

Modern – avant metal with chaotic Harry Pussy-ish guitar and shouted vocals interspersed with metallic droning. Nice bleak black and gray cover. I’ve seen ‘em once or twice at Churchills and they look right at home there….and I used to think metal was a dead end!

DEAD HOOKERS’ BRIDGE CLUB – The Hoo Dee Hoo 7” EP

New Art School – Miami (2006)

The Hoo Dee Hoo
Rock’n’Roll Attack
The Love Song
Russian Roulette

Jack Switchblade – bass
Dr. Johnny Thunder, Ph.D – drums
Ace Roller – guitar & vocals

Somehow one of these songs wound up being included in a Burger King toy or something like that. I’m assuming that received decent distribution. This record did not. I had to beg to get a copy. Why doesn’t anyone put their records in record stores anymore??? I’m too damn old to go to every show by every band. Obvious influences are the Cramps, Chuck Berry, 50’s, rockabilly, punk rock and Australianism. Russian Roulette is the standout track – it keeps threatening to fall apart, but hangs together nicely. About 30 years ago, you had a chance of seeing something like the cover art rolling down the street (or better yet – being in the car) – but now? – ain’t gonna happen.

GROSS NATIONAL PRODUCT -- Ronald McVomit's 14-Song Happy Meal

Bacon Towne Records -- Tallevast (2006)

Plastic Surgery

FICA

And Waffles for All!

Iraqiccino

Taco Bells in Mexico

Dumb it Down

Fears

Weather the Storm

Steal From Walmart

Ronald McVomit

God is an A-Hole

We're Everywhere

You Want to Be

Rent-a-Cop

DIY/MIA

Marley DeCosta - vocal

Scott Bentz - drums

Adam Dabrowski - guitar

Bob Suren - bass

This record is appalling. I don't mean this as a criticism. This is a genuine hardcore punk (not heavy metal) record with shouted female vocals and lots of songs and lyrics -- all furious, self-righteous, vile, funny, inept, clever, juvenile and brief. This is pure and free of any self-editing. I can imagine this band emerging, playing two shows, recording this record and disappearing. Throwaway punk of a high order.

It is not art, but in spite of that there are flashes of Melt Banana energy and vocal style here. (Am I suggesting Melt Banana is art?) There is a little Crass in some of the songs too, at least in attitude. Maybe I'm stretching, but in any case these teenagers (a guess, probably correct except for the bass player) clearly listen to a lot of 1980s hardcore.

A coloring book is included that I do not recommend sharing with your children. The crucifixion of Mickey Mouse is perhaps the highlight, but with the right choice of crayons the Ronald McDonald vomiting on children drawing would be a nice addition to your refrigerator door.

BAD HABITS – Livin la vida broke 7”

South Florida Drunk Punx – Ft. Lauderdale (2006)

Ice Cold Beer
Drink to Hate
I’m Glad You Hate Me

Dirty Jay – guitar, vocals
Ray Beers – drums
Josh Raw – bass & vocals

I think I see two predominant areas of interest in the song titles. Drinking and Hating. Drinking first, hating later. You get a fairly ok mix of standard drunk punk and street punk. Their nice logo and commendable dual-mindedness lift this record into the plus column.

DEREK LYN PLASTIC – Plastic Surgery EP

Floridas Dying Records – Orlando (2006?)

Derek Lyn Plastic
Rusty Knight
Joshua Baker
Doug Woodard
Laura Callier

M.N.W.N.
Plastic Surgery
Psycho
Vampires in Heat
You Can’t Tell Me No

Modern mid tempo punk rock with snotty vocals, good production and keyboards (think Lost Sounds). These guy(s) have since defected to Atlanta and may have originated there. They have at least three other records and all sound similar (good!) I think this is #1 in the fine line of Floridas Dying releases.