SLIPPERY SLOPES -- Sad Tugs 7"

Florida's Dying -- Orlando -- 2010

Sad Tugs

Pizza I'm Against It

Carburetor

Burnin'

This band plays old school pop-punk in the Queers mold, with songs like "Pizza I'm Against It," the stand-out track. I usually use the label "pop punk" as an insult, but not in this case. This record is not overly slick like pop punk generally is and offers catchy, goofy who-cares attitude. In this recording they go for the reverby vocals like the Jacuzzi Boys and many other bands are doing at the moment, but it is not excessive.

The alernative and superior cover of the record cover prominently features a swastika. Definitely more punk than pop! They're worth catching live as well.

SUPER AIDS – 7"

Ripping Records – Orlando – 2005

Fuck the Wagon

Rock ‘n’ Roll ‘n’ Tits

Girls are for Faggots

Alarm Clock / Hollow End

Nuke ‘em all

Tub of Guts

I just wanna kiss you tonight

Richard – vocals

Sam – guitar & vocals

Dan – bass

Lew – drums

Mike – guitar

The record’s ok – hard, fast punk that almost sounds hardcore except for a more rock’n’roll song structure. Lead guitar parts sound good enough. The song titles give you a good idea of the lyrical concerns. The best part of this release, obviously, is the cover. Those creatures look like they live several miles under the sea – the part where sunlight never reaches.

SHIT EAGLE – 7”

Florida’s Dying – Orlando – 2007

Girls at School

So Sad

Gaysted Love

Another fine FDR release. Extremely lo-fi speedy punk crap. I don’t think a lot of thought went into this – but that’s ok. Gaysted Love reminds me of Twin Infinitives era Royal Trux on helium (and speed). The other 2 are more straight forward. On 33 rpm, the singer’s voice is manlier, and it’s a lot heavier – but drags a little. I’d stay with 45.

SLOANE PETERSON -- Knots / Telephone 7"

Steve's Pizza and Records -- Miami (2009)

Steve Hersh -- vocals
Brian, Chris, Peter, Andrew -- guitars, drums, etc.

Knots
Telephone

A website hawking this disc says: "Miami pop punk, catchy, fun." The first bits I can't argue with. It's poppy mid-tempo punk sporting a (305) area code and 'Knots' in particular is catchy. 'Fun' might be a stretch, although I admit I'm not sure I'd recognize fun if I ever saw or heard it. So, I'll give them that too.

The two songs deal with issues that confront young men regarding girls, self-confidence and telephones. Yawn.

I'm never going to listen to this record again. You can do what you like.

THE SPEARS – People are Bad 7”

Choking Hazard Records – Tampa (2008)

People Are Bad

Upset Down

Bullet Proof

Chris Barrows: vocals

Sam Williams: guitar

Gary Strickland: bass

Hunter Oswald: drums

Olde-core from Tampa. As with all records featuring either Chris Barrows (Pink Lincolns, Jackie Papers) or Gary Strickland (Hated Youth, Plastic Stars, Honeyrider), it’s a recommended purchase. Not sure who the other 2 dudes are. They must be tops among Tampa low-life. This is fairly standard mid-tempo punk rock – nothing here would sound outta place on a Pink Lincolns record. People are Bad (not a bold statement) is good though both B-side songs are probably better – especially Bullet Proof – it’s short & to the point. I’ll be scanning the internet looking for the next installment.

STEVIE STILETTO AND THE SWITCHBLADES – It’s a Bogus Life 7”

Razor Records – Jacksonville (1985)

A.O.T.

Just Go Away

Running People Over

Party Dog

Lets Blow this Taco Stand

It’s a Bogus Life

Ray Rae – vocals

Thommy Berlin – guitar

Butler – bass

Rob Akkkkk – drums

Probably the best thing ever from Jacksonville (some Allman Bros and Lynryd Skynyrd possibly excepted). Rather than sitting and sulking in the land of “let’s make the whole dang county into our city – so we can be the biggest” (surprised Texas never thought of this), SSSB made this fine record and more to follow. True to the credo of most Florida punk rock, these guys are not totally serious. Over the course of six songs, we’re treated to near-HC speed songs and slower 50’s, 60’s melodic influences – all memorable and more than competently played. AOT is about as good a hateful punk rock song as I can imagine at the moment. Just Go Away veers toward a commercial new wave sound, but is well written and another stand-out. Running People Over starts with a Gary Numan snippet and winds up stop-start HC concerning running people over. Party Dog is an up-tempo 50’s style rock song. Taco Stand is back to HC and bile. Bogus Life is a statement of the obvious that pretty much sums up the previous five songs. Had they put this out a couple years earlier, collector types would be frothing over it. 1985 gets no respect.

SNATCH THE PEBBLE – Going Slow / Peon 7”

Esync – Miami (1991)

Ariyah Okamoto – vocals, guitar

Carl Hefley – guitar, vocals

Mike Gennett – bass, vocals

Tom Worley – drums

First of at least three singles by these guys. A side has a shoegazery sound, but with slightly annoying vocals. There’s little room for annoyance in shoegazerirm, but this isn’t bad. Peon is a little more upbeat, with a bleating “I’m not a Peon” chorus. Overall, not terribly exciting, but has good production and musicianship and reasonably good songwriting.

THE SHADES – Time for Change / Shake It 7”

Direct Hit Records – St. Petersburg (1980)

Guy Silvestro – drums, vocals

Dennis Dalcin – vocals, guitar

Ed Siersema – bass, vocals

In case anyone was confused, The Shades all wear sunglasses on the cover. This way we know Shades wasn’t short for Lampshades or referring to areas shielded from the sun. The Shades hailed from St. Petersburg and were fairly typical of Central Florida power pop bands of the day. Nice clean early Jam-ish guitar, energetic performances, so-so production, ok vocals, not-so-great lyrics (it is power pop). Time for Change is about 20 seconds too long – the other one is about right.

SECTOR FOUR – Disclexia

Destroy – Tallahassee (1983)

Greg Sapronetti – guitar, vocals

Neal Cline – bass, vocals

Paul Suhor – drums, vocals

Heartbreak Hotel

Jump On You

No Revenge

Time

Table Leg

Soon after recording this fine record, Sector Four decided they had to play as fast as their friends in Hated Youth and became less interesting rather quickly – though the song “Destroy” on Rick Lennick’s Florida Explosion tape is probably the best thing they ever did. The record starts with a goofy version of Heartbreak Hotel complete with Elvis-style vocals – it’s not as bad as that sounds – ok. Jump on You concerns the problem of being a teenager – which they all were – the drummer may have been a pre-teen - I don’t know how they managed to play all those shows at Flynn’s without police interest. No Revenge and Time are among their best songs – sci-fi-ish with a rare quality – welcome use of a phase shifter in a punk rock song. Table Leg is 20 seconds of nonsense yelling about “IT’S 1983!!!”. Truly a reason for the denizens of Tallahassee to hold their heads up and be proud – another rarity.

SPAWN SACS – Assholes of the Night EP

No Label – Miami (1997?)

Quannah –drums

Tom – microphone

Raul Ices – bass

Bryan – ass

Kerb- whiskey

Cinque – guitar

Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun City

Buy Now Pay Later

Dizzy

Real Situation

Assholes of the Night

It could be argued that the Spawn Sacs are a Tennessee band – but they drifted down here long enough to record this record and list a Florida address. Bob Marley wrote one of these songs for them. Each song is louder, faster and uglier than the last one (not quite HC, but the 80's HC influence is there), culminating in their raison d’etre “Assholes of the Night”. The Sacs were well known for their superhuman drinking abilities. Also, one of the best cheap-ass covers I’ve seen.

SMACK – Asaboob 7”

Cat Records – Miami (1997)

Doing the Wrong Thing

Middle Class

Stereophonic

So Lonely

Tony Pananoia – drums

Kathleen Dirt – guitar, vocals

Man Lee – bass

Captain Z-Row – vocals

Really nice people…..uh…Police cover, uh….kind of like a bad Beltones, with bass as the lead instrument, a ska influence, curious cover, wretched vocals..... Best part is the bonus metallic fish car sticker featuring the band’s name – probably a good way to meet the real police if you actually put it on your car.

SHEER SMEGMA -- Audio Suicide 7" EP

FARTFACED DECADENCE RECORDS -- West Palm Beach (1980)

Clubnite
Alophen Baby
I Wanna Be a Man
I Owe it to the Girls

Cookie Mold -- vocals
Fish -- bass
Spam Ax-- guitar
Joesaphine Dupont -- drums

There were a number of excellent early punk rock bands in Florida, like The Eat, Charlie Pickett, the Reactions, etc. But there was a traditional sound to each of these that seemed to emphasize the 'rock' in punk rock. Sheer Smegma? Not so much.

This record is casually inept and at times disgusting (see: Alophen Baby). It is also sheer bloody poetry. Check this out: "I gave you quaaludes/I held your cock/we spoke in dipthongs/clubnite." The two songs by Fish ('Clubnite' and 'I Owe it to the Girls') can be enjoyed more than once. The other two must be heard, though. Cookie was a mad genius, queen of uncontrollable vileness and unhealthy habits.

The band self-destructed fairly quickly and, in fact, today Cookie claims to be dead and won't even acknowledge her own existence, let alone her band's. But prior to her demise Jello Biafra's Alternative Tenacles rescued this record from obscurity by reissuing it as a 12" under the name "Teddy and the Frat Boys" and now it sits in punk record collections across the globe. It should be in yours as well.

SAFEWAY – Slaves / Pheromones 7”

Influx Records – Hialeah (1993)

Weird ass record here – electronic drums, keyboards, groaning tribal sounds all from Hialeah. Taken from a forthcoming album entitled “How much more can you take?” which probably never appeared. Would probably appeal most to a Revolting Cocks fan – not bad – I like the electronic groaning on Slaves. I know next to nothing about this endeavor, including how it came into my possession.

STUN GUNS -- Fast, Clean, Cheap 7"

RECESS RECORDS -- Miami (1995?)

Un Mejor Manana
Make That to Go (Girls on Drugs)
Blindfold

More crime-themed malarkey from one of the better 1990s South Florida bands, which is saying a lot because the mid-1990s punk revival down here produced a goodly amount of this kind of thing. There is no personnel listed on this record, but presumably this is the roughly the same star-studded staff of the Stun Guns other releases. Up front is former Lethal Yellow front man Paul Enema, and he sounds just as lazy, bored, drunk and snide here as he does anywhere else, including at work. All three songs are quick and catchy, with one in Spanish (a nod to both half the band and probably half the Miami audience too). There's no real point in picking favorites; if you see a Stun Guns single, or their one LP, buy it.

SLYDER – Dance with Me / Lucky 7”

Triple Slyde Records – Hialeah (1978??)

Billy Livesay – guitar, vocals
Jimmy Gambone – guitar, cool name
David James – drums & vocals
Jorge Laplume - bass

One of the problems with being semi-obsessive about something (for me collecting Florida records) is that you wind up walking out of a store with something like this. I knew from the start that the cover would be the closest thing to a redeeming value this record would have. It didn’t cost much – a couple dollars – but I remember asking myself – “What’s wrong with me?” Ah, who cares. Anyway these guys reformed a year or two ago to showcase their lack of musical growth opening for the Johnny Depp experience in Pompano. Silver lining (almost) = this is the only copy I’ve ever seen.

STUN GUNS – I can’t believe it’s not murder EP

Starcrunch Records (4) – Miami (1995)

Brand New Year
Hitman
Bullet in the Head

Paul Lee Guns (alias Paul Lecours, alias Paul Enema) – vocals, guitar
George Machine Gun Kelley – bass
Buddha Sanchez – guitar
Hurricane Andrew Powell – drums

These ne’er do wells made it look easy. All three songs, together with their other recorded output, are near perfect, catchy as hell punk rock. Paul showed promise with the Lethal Yellow, but blew everyone away with the Stun Guns. The rest of the band kicked ass too and everyone was in other influential bands. In case the song titles didn’t give it away – the Stun Guns focused on crime – making Miami a natural home. Their only drawback was – driving to Miami for a Stun Guns show was no guarantee that you would get to see them play. Happened to me at least twice.

STICK FIGURES -- 4-song EP

Green Records – Tampa (1981)

N-Light
Ellis Otivator Dub
Crayola Bowling
September

I know next to nothing about this band. I would assume they were somehow connected to one of the colleges there. This would be called “math rock” today – though these are actual songs not merely exercises in tedium. You get male/female vocals with an over-exuberant bass player – maybe like a more serious Swimming Pool Q’s. Unlike the Q’s, they had the sense to quit after issuing a good single instead of slogging forward diluting their sound. Ellis Otivator Dub is an especially impressive piece of whacked out music.

STRAIGHT YOUTH -- Together We Can Do It! EP

4 ½ Finger Records – Miami (1990)

Larry Edge – Vocals, Guitar
Ross Youth – Bass
Bruce Hard – Percutions

Positive Stand
X on my Hand
Str-8 Str-8 Str-8
No Drugs
Stupid Drugs
Hard Alertness

Part of the appeal of this record is that it can be imaged that not everyone will get the joke. These guys were involved with Powerhouse, a real straight edge band, and wound up in bands that were far from straight-edge land. The cover pretty much gives it away, I would say, but the music alone would certainly appeal to the boneheads of the time. All six songs are standard stop-start thrash with stupid and single-minded lyrics. X on my hand is the hit – the spoken part is great (“listening to this at home….I want you to get a marker …and put an X on your hand….”). This was the first release for the fine 4 ½ Finger label. That Ross Youth would be better off if he took some of the advice from this record takes some of the fun out of it for me, though.