Kreamy Lectric Santa – 4 7”

Tibetan Beefgarden – Miami (1997)

Fear of God

Stupid Fresh

HP2-What was the Chemical Brothers

Priya Ray – vocals, violin

Sir Robert – guitar

Andrew Powell – bass

Ricky Pollo – drums

Jay Russo - ?

Jan 9 – vocals

Tim Vaughn - drums

Probably the most focused, concise evidence of the genius of KLS. Fear of God starts things out right with lots of time-changes, several different vocals - some on-key, some not – it falls apart and regroups a couple times. This kind of song either works or it doesn’t – this one works. Stupid Fresh easily tops FOG. It may be their best song. Clean, surfy guitar with brilliant vocals from Priya – starting out nice & polite and ending up with death metaly screeching. I find this song quite pretty – others may not. I can listen to over & over to the point of embarrassment. Side 2 is a Sir Robert festival freak-out. The band did so well on side one – that they let Robert make incoherent noise on side 2. KLS doesn’t always fare too well in the incoherent noise dept. (not many do!), but this is their best incomprehensible noise to date and winds up perfectly complimenting side 1.

SPAWN SACS – Assholes of the Night EP

No Label – Miami (1997?)

Quannah –drums

Tom – microphone

Raul Ices – bass

Bryan – ass

Kerb- whiskey

Cinque – guitar

Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun City

Buy Now Pay Later

Dizzy

Real Situation

Assholes of the Night

It could be argued that the Spawn Sacs are a Tennessee band – but they drifted down here long enough to record this record and list a Florida address. Bob Marley wrote one of these songs for them. Each song is louder, faster and uglier than the last one (not quite HC, but the 80's HC influence is there), culminating in their raison d’etre “Assholes of the Night”. The Sacs were well known for their superhuman drinking abilities. Also, one of the best cheap-ass covers I’ve seen.

SMACK – Asaboob 7”

Cat Records – Miami (1997)

Doing the Wrong Thing

Middle Class

Stereophonic

So Lonely

Tony Pananoia – drums

Kathleen Dirt – guitar, vocals

Man Lee – bass

Captain Z-Row – vocals

Really nice people…..uh…Police cover, uh….kind of like a bad Beltones, with bass as the lead instrument, a ska influence, curious cover, wretched vocals..... Best part is the bonus metallic fish car sticker featuring the band’s name – probably a good way to meet the real police if you actually put it on your car.

GARGIRLS/DRUG CZARS split 7"

DESTROY RECORDS -- Ft. Lauderdale (1997)

GARGIRLS: I'll Stab You!

Stripteaser

Wine Nights

Trish -- drums

Terra -- bass

Lisa -- guitar

Monica -- vocals

Noisy anti-stylish dirges with female vocals, generally shouted. Wine nights! Two other South Florida all-girl bands sprung out of this one, Fraulein and Angry Pudding. You can hear elements of both in these songs. Wine nights!

DRUG CZARS: Lets' Go Satan

Let's Go Satan

Someday I'll Crush Them All Like Bugs

Michael O'Brien -- guitar, vocal

Chris Cottie -- drums, vocal

Jeff Hodapp -- guitar

Buddha -- bass

Two ex-members of the Eat fronted and backed this band and there was a former Roach Motel member playing cranky noise guitar somewhere in the middle. This record sounds nothing like either band, though. Oh, maybe "Someday" could have been an Eat song, but it wouldn't have sound dense and heavy like this. There is lots of picking and skranking, so you have to play it really loud to get the full effect. I don't believe these guys were ever employed by the Justice Department in spite of their name.

FROSTY – Drive Thru Lover / Get my Rocks Off 7”

Menlo Park Records – Miami Beach (1997)

Andres – drums, keyboards
Syd - bass
Lisa - guitar
Lance – vocals, keyboard

A conventional (given one side was recorded by Tom Smith, the other by Bill Orcutt), but extremely trashy record, with a back cover that would surely bring any N.A. meeting to a sordid end. I only got a chance to see them once or twice at Churchills. Their shtik was to be totally gay, obnoxious, noisy and devoted to drugs. Drive Thru Lover, the better song of the two, concerns a sexual experience with the cashier while buying burgers at the local McDonald’s/Checkers/whatever. Over the top vocals and under the basement production make this a winner. They continued on to make a split 7” with Harry Pussy and a seldom-seen cd, also on Menlo Park. This is the one to get.

VILIJITIUTS -- Once Around EP

One Record Records – Delray Beach (1997)

Luke Berns – Guitar & vocals
Cecil Lyndsey – Guitars & vocal
Lee Lietzke – Bass
Aaron Pool – Drums

Puke Steve Puke
(the Way I) Feel about you
She’s Gone
Sweat it out
What to do
Pity Pedophile

These Palm Beach County punx seem to have been in action for about a year and released only this one below the radar EP. Once Around sounds like it was recorded in one take – guitars sound out of tune, I detect a timing issue or two and some parts fizzle out unexpectedly. These aspects only add to the “good” qualities of this record. Vocals are very good as is the songwriting. “Feel about you” is a particularly great song. This record could have been recorded 15 years earlier – though it lacks some of the hostility of that era. I can’t recommend it enough!