KILLED BY FLORIDA

U-BOATS -- Government Rip Off

2011-01-25T16:42:00.000-08:00

Crow Records -- Tampa -- 1982

Government Ripoff

Break Out Tonight

Mike Nelson -- vocals

Jay Jetmore -- guitar

Bob Widenhofer -- bass

Hitler -- drums

The charming German motif (there's both a Hitler and a Widenhofer in this band) fills out this 1982 throwaway classic outta Tampa. However, their teutonic rhythm section was ditched for the U-Boat second 7". They have an LP still later but I've never heard it.

Both songs here are solid hardcore-informed midtempo punk. The stand-out track here is "Break Out Tonight" which they brazenly annexed from the equally obscure Commandos from Massachusetts who had originally titled the track "Stay Out Tonight" on their first 1978 7". There is no indication the song is a cover and given that they changed the words and name, the U-Boats clearly intended to steal it. Yes, that's right, this is a genuine punk rock record. The chorus of the A-side, "We're all into anarchy, the government's ripping off me," confirms it.

Widenhofer, also known as Bobby Skullfucker, also played in Tampa's Jehovah's Sicknesses if memory serves. He later moved to Austin, Texas, and played with the Convulsions in the 1990s.

LETHAL YELLOW -- Declaration of Retardation EP

2011-01-23T08:36:00.001-08:00

Stench Records -- Miami -- 1985

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

In the Mess

Cockroaches

Velveeta Cheese

Spastic and Proud
The Obnoxious Song

Paul Enema -- vocals

Ivan Gripweed -- guitar

Syd Upp - bass

Mike -- drums

Retardation is the most obvious charm of these brave young banana-men. Digging deeper, you'll find laziness and slovenliness as well. It is worth the effort.

The stunted visions here are the first recorded by a couple of prolific South Florida punk social mutants, Ivan Gripweed (nee Osorio) and Paul Enema. Paul went on the lead the Stun Guns, while Ivan could be found in the Jeffersons, F The Band Formerly Known as the John Birch Society and Sick Dick and the Volkswagens. I'm sure there are others.

This is basically what used to be called hardcore, but is looser and sillier than music that word is used to describe today. Every song is catchy and soaking in self-deprecation. Two involve cheese. A sample: "Velveeta, there ain't nothing sweeter...Spread it on your bread or melt it on your head" Depending on your outlook, this may make you laugh, make you cringe or make you hungry.

"The Obnoxious Song" has been the most enduring track, as it appears on the superb Killed by Florida comp for which this site is named. The song also is heard playing on a car radio in John Sheppard's novel "Small Town Punk," which is about punk kids in Sarasota, Florida, in the early '80s.

THE JAMESES -- Rat People / Haunted Rider 7"

2011-01-22T16:37:00.000-08:00

Mayo Factory -- Lake Worth -- 2010

Rat People
Haunted Rider

This isn't punk rock, purely speaking. It's lo-fi, but in spite of that it is the instrumentation that makes this such a great single. It has a haunting, droning keyboard over obscure vocals. Great squeaks, whistles and swishes buried in all the murkiness. Snippets of clever lyrical images escape the swamp. No, this is not self-conscious shoegaze crap for which the "sound" trumps the songs. These are real songs, the intensity hidden therein you might miss the first time. It helps if you listen to it at high volume as I am doing right now.

SLIPPERY SLOPES -- Sad Tugs 7"

2011-01-22T16:02:00.000-08:00

Florida's Dying -- Orlando -- 2010

Sad Tugs

Pizza I'm Against It

Carburetor

Burnin'

This band plays old school pop-punk in the Queers mold, with songs like "Pizza I'm Against It," the stand-out track. I usually use the label "pop punk" as an insult, but not in this case. This record is not overly slick like pop punk generally is and offers catchy, goofy who-cares attitude. In this recording they go for the reverby vocals like the Jacuzzi Boys and many other bands are doing at the moment, but it is not excessive.

The alernative and superior cover of the record cover prominently features a swastika. Definitely more punk than pop! They're worth catching live as well.

SUPER AIDS – 7"

2010-01-30T17:39:00.000-08:00

Ripping Records – Orlando – 2005

Fuck the Wagon

Rock ‘n’ Roll ‘n’ Tits

Girls are for Faggots

Alarm Clock / Hollow End

Nuke ‘em all

Tub of Guts

I just wanna kiss you tonight

Richard – vocals

Sam – guitar & vocals

Dan – bass

Lew – drums

Mike – guitar

The record’s ok – hard, fast punk that almost sounds hardcore except for a more rock’n’roll song structure. Lead guitar parts sound good enough. The song titles give you a good idea of the lyrical concerns. The best part of this release, obviously, is the cover. Those creatures look like they live several miles under the sea – the part where sunlight never reaches.

THE BOOM BOOM BAND – I want to Live 7”

2010-01-30T17:37:00.001-08:00

Boom Boom – Miami – 1987

Bobby “Boom Boom” Gold – drums, vocals

John Ross – bass, guitar

Rick Meister – guitar

Extremely cheep record. That’s not smeared shit on the cover – it’s krappy glue that has turned brown over the years. It glues the picture to a standard 45 sleeve. And there’s no B-side. Actually this is way better than I thought it would be. The vocals drag a bit, the guitar-playing is so-so – but the guitar-sound is cool – in a jangley, psych kinda way. I don’t like being dared to dream, tho.

SHIT EAGLE – 7”

2010-01-30T17:34:00.000-08:00

Florida’s Dying – Orlando – 2007

Girls at School

So Sad

Gaysted Love

Another fine FDR release. Extremely lo-fi speedy punk crap. I don’t think a lot of thought went into this – but that’s ok. Gaysted Love reminds me of Twin Infinitives era Royal Trux on helium (and speed). The other 2 are more straight forward. On 33 rpm, the singer’s voice is manlier, and it’s a lot heavier – but drags a little. I’d stay with 45.

RUGGED EDGE – Gangs in Heat / Two Face 7”

2010-01-30T17:31:00.000-08:00

No Label – Miami – 1986

I usually tried to avoid seeing these guys – back in the day. I didn’t always succeed. Around 1986, I was fairly sick of watching a bunch of dudes clobber each other on the dance floor to a unwavering loud dull roar. Two face is a slower, unspectacular song – and dumb. Gangs in Heat is similarly dumb, but has a nice Motorhead-thing going. I will have to do more research (buy their other record(s)) to determine if I was wrong to avoid these ne’er-do-wells.

FASHION! FASHION! AND THE IMAGE BOYS -- Over Before It Ever Began

2010-01-04T17:30:00.000-08:00

Florida's Dying -- Orlando (2007)

Sleazy G -- vocals
Reacharound Robbie -- bass
Tracy Blades -- drums
DJ Dialtone -- guitar, vocals, theremin (!)

The Hit
Shopping in America
She
Last Good Brawl of Summer

The cover sold me on this, but the music would have also. Four solid songs of quick throwaway punk rock with tight no-nonsense guitar and intense, no-range screaming vocals framing respectable rants about consumerism, groovy femmes, fist fighting and the final days of rock-n-roll. It sort of has a Humpers/Candy Snatchers/New Bomb Turks feel to it, if that's any help.

I don't have any complaints about this record. Oh yeah, the 'Last Good Brawl' song has a gratuitous theremin solo in it. Is that a complaint?

SLOANE PETERSON -- Knots / Telephone 7"

2010-01-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

Steve's Pizza and Records -- Miami (2009)

Steve Hersh -- vocals
Brian, Chris, Peter, Andrew -- guitars, drums, etc.

Knots
Telephone

A website hawking this disc says: "Miami pop punk, catchy, fun." The first bits I can't argue with. It's poppy mid-tempo punk sporting a (305) area code and 'Knots' in particular is catchy. 'Fun' might be a stretch, although I admit I'm not sure I'd recognize fun if I ever saw or heard it. So, I'll give them that too.

The two songs deal with issues that confront young men regarding girls, self-confidence and telephones. Yawn.

I'm never going to listen to this record again. You can do what you like.

ASSPISS -- Fuck Off and Die 7" EP

2010-01-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

Suburban White Trash Records -- Lake Worth (2010)

Rubber Bullets
Fuck Off and Die

Burn Palm Beach

Collection Bowl

Already Dead

It might be confusing that this record is on a Colorado label, but the injunction to 'Burn Palm Beach' grounds it within Sunshine State lines. The explanation is that Punk Rock Joel, known well by the Lake Worth scene that spawned both him and this band, moved out west for work and, finding it, was flush enough to launch the label. He chose the infamous Asspiss for the first number.

Infamous is a tough label to earn these days, but these hard-working gentlemen have set their sights high. It starts with the name, but does not end there. West Palm Beach's Respectable Street Cafe forced Asspiss to use a different name ("Distrophy") at an early show as a prereq for playing their club, something which may or may not happen again. Several clubs will never have these boys back on the premises, inclined as singer Germ is to use his mic to malign the management and atmosphere of the establishments that invite him in. In the Asspiss universe real punk rock occurs in homes and warehouses (and outhouses too, I guess). Commercial establishments can fuck off.

Given this background, you have some idea of what this hardcore punk record sounds like, starting and ending with rage stained with violence and scatology. It is surprisingly competent, however, with lead guitar being the standout, although the band made no effort to showcase this in this recording. Why would they? Credit here goes to Dave, formerly guitarist for The Belligerents.

I don't know what the best track(s) are. Just listen to it straight through, loud. That should work out okay for you.

THE FRONT – Aluminum Room / Poor People 7”

2010-01-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

Foam Records – Miami (1982)

(Presumably)

Greg McLaughlin

Larry Hill

Steve Myers

Randy Rush

Flynn Picardal

Ackk!!! What happened? A severe 1-year decline from their great first single. Aluminum Room is dull new wave with no edge to it at all – and it sucks. Poor People may be worse. Being un-PC over quirky punk (Immigration Report) is one thing, extending said un-PC-ness over faux ska is another altogether. The band looks truly demented on the back cover photos – a minor plus.

NEW DAY – 4 song 7” EP

2010-01-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

Raw Products – Lantana (1995)

Hallway

Christ Asbestos

Sheep

The Facts of Life

Mike Grover – vocals

Scott Hughes – guitar

Chris Freedman – bass

Dominic Nigro – drums

My copy came with an index card stating “If you bought this 7”, you are an IDIOT”. I bought mine used for $1. Not sure what that makes me…. I’m also not sure if the band put that in there or a disgruntled former owner. Anyway, I can’t imagine ever listening to this again. It’s fairly typical sloppy hardcore – some cool feedback guitar on the first song, but – life is short…..

MUTE-ANTS – Introducing 7” EP

2010-01-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

Zou Gratz Records – Boca Raton (1996)

Jason Mutation – vocals & guitar

Joey Go-Go Pop – drums

Dave Ant – bass & vocals

Ryan Imal – guitar & vocals

Stereo Dance

Bored with this City

Dump Your Boyfriend

Burning Sessions

The Mute-Ants schtick centered on obnoxiousness. Personal obnoxiousness more than musical. Songs penned by Mr. Imal seem to center on genital warts, so, uh, if so inclined, proceed at yer own caution. Mr. Mutation’s songs don’t have the same degree of ick-factor and teeter between being “hits” (to me, anyway) in a ’77 kind of way and being inept and repetitive. I still can’t decide with “Bored with this city”. Overall not too bad – I think they also put out another 7” and a full length cd….You just never want to find yourself hanging out with them!

HARRY PUSSY – 1st 7”

2009-11-24T18:58:00.001-08:00

Esync – Miami Beach (1992)

2 untitled “songs”

Bill Orcutt - guitar

Adris Hoyos – drums

First record by Miami Beach’s highly influential and much beloved noise-makers. They didn’t fully have their sound together yet on this record. The hardcore punk influence didn’t show up for another record or two and there’s no vocals this time. In lesser hands, improvy instrumental “pieces” (especially in the 7” format) usually come off as annoying, uninspired excuses to make a record and are soon filed – never to be listened to again. This record is different – it totally sounds like it was recorded on another planet and there were very few precedents at the time. Mr. Orcutt invented a new way to play guitar. Ms. Hoyos hadn’t perfected her craft yet (amazing flailing drums with simultaneous ear-piercing screaming) on this record. The “compositions” may sound random, but more than likely were at least semi-worked out. Great WTF cover art too!

FUTURISK – Player Piano 7”EP

2009-11-24T18:55:00.001-08:00

Clark Humphrey Records – Deerfield Beach (1982)

Poison Ivy

Meteoright

Push Me Pull You (Part two)

Lonely Streets

Split Second

Richard Hess – Synthesizer

Jack Howard – Drums & Synthdrums

E. Jeremy Kolosine – vocals & synthesizers

Somewhat of a letdown after their first single. Not terrible – just not especially good. A slightly more commercial new wave sound crept in and the interesting or creepy bits are equally matched with dull and fruity moments. I suppose the vocals annoy me the most - I'm ok with the synths. One must remember that in 1982 bands like this were really blazing new paths in music. Sometimes they just took a wrong turn. Push Me Pull You (Pt 2) is probably the best song here, due in part to its instrumental nature.

MENSTRUAL CYCLES – ½ Skin Punx 7” EP

2009-11-24T18:53:00.001-08:00

Cycles – Hialeah (1983)

Retirement Home

Rejected From the Premises

Kill the President

Oi Warning

Shock (Mario) – guitar, vocals

Skin – bass, backing vocals

Hippie – drums, backing vocals

This record seems to focus on the state of being a punk or a skinhead or in the case of the drummer, a hippie. This record is ground-zero of the Hialeah Oi connection – an affinity I don’t fully understand. Maybe it’s an island thing. Something’s really off-kilter and disjointed here – not sure if it’s the bad production (Dave Camp usually did better), dodgy musicianship, crappy songwriting or some combination thereof. Loud and aggressive but, except for the first ten seconds of each song, somehow doesn’t really advance the art of loud shitty music. “Oi Warning” has inappropriate punk rock use of a phase shifter, other songs have roto-toms or whatever they call those fukkin things. Ugly cover art before ugly covers were cool! Rumor has it that they sold a bunch of these in the UK – who knows?…..

THE SPEARS – People are Bad 7”

2009-11-24T18:50:00.001-08:00

Choking Hazard Records – Tampa (2008)

People Are Bad

Upset Down

Bullet Proof

Chris Barrows: vocals

Sam Williams: guitar

Gary Strickland: bass

Hunter Oswald: drums

Olde-core from Tampa. As with all records featuring either Chris Barrows (Pink Lincolns, Jackie Papers) or Gary Strickland (Hated Youth, Plastic Stars, Honeyrider), it’s a recommended purchase. Not sure who the other 2 dudes are. They must be tops among Tampa low-life. This is fairly standard mid-tempo punk rock – nothing here would sound outta place on a Pink Lincolns record. People are Bad (not a bold statement) is good though both B-side songs are probably better – especially Bullet Proof – it’s short & to the point. I’ll be scanning the internet looking for the next installment.

DAMAGE – 7”EP

2009-11-05T17:39:00.001-08:00

Spacefish Records – Winter Park (1984)

Jaywalk

Fight or Die

Jock Mentality

Chopin

Tyler Stans - vocals

Mike Brown – lead synth

Mike Buchanan – bass synth

Jack McGowan – drums

Keyboards, like everything, have their time and place. That time and place doesn’t really include hardcore punk rock. That didn’t stop Damage from trying. Three of the songs start out like weirdo artpunk and then suddenly speed up to HC velocities. “Chopin” stays at a slower speed and consequently is my favorite song on this record. There are about 1000 bands that sound like this now. Also the lyrical concerns are a little off-putting. Keyboard-driven punk rock should concern outer space or performing science experiments on your sister – not “Jock Mentality” or “Fight or Die”. That said – this is a fairly unique and forward thinking band for 1984. Nice polar bear and palm tree cover art.

THE FRONT – First Strike 7”EP

2009-11-05T17:36:00.001-08:00

Foam Records – Miami (1981)

Immigration Report

It’s Over

Teen Idol

Greg McLaughlin

Larry Hill

Steve Myers

Randy Rush

Flynn Picardal

Excellent Devo-inspired single from these Miami rock-guy weirdos. Immigration Report features some rather un-PC lyric concerning Miami’s newest residents following a cool guitar buildup. It’s Over is the most Devo or no-wavy song on the record and almost as good as the A side. 1:19 of perfection. (I don’t wanna be a) Teen Idol (forever) is closer to new wave, but still a decent song. Another 7” followed. I believe these guys have reappeared in some form in the last year or two.

DRIVE CHOIR – Close Your Eyes / LaLaLa 7”

2009-11-05T17:31:00.001-08:00

Maggot Records – Hialeah (1993)

Johnny Voltage – guitar, vocal

Carl “kiss my ass” Carvajal – bass, vocal

Jeff Fritz – drums, vocals, harmonica

First record by these Hialeah poppity punkers. Close Your Eyes is a nice up-tempo song – almost as good as King of the World from their second record. LaLaLa is also up-tempo pop-punk, unfortunately having a chorus of LaLaLa – but it features some bitchin guitar. Nice idea for a punk rock car on the cover. After the two 7” singles, Drive Choir released a full-length CD disguised as another 7” single and then disappeared.

PLASTIC STARS – Sheena Gets Around / Shut-Up 7”

2009-11-05T17:28:00.000-08:00

No Front Teeth – Clearwater (2008)

Gaz (Gary Strickland) - vocals, guitar

Johnny – bass/ vocals

Ian – keyboards / vocals

Tommy – drums

Plastic Stars falls somewhere between two of Mr. Strickland’s previous bands – Hated Youth and Honeyrider. Honeyrider made the Beach Boys sound gloomy by comparison and Hated Youth sound exactly like one would expect a band named Hated Youth to sound. This is much closer to Honeyrider territory – almost an exercise in nostalgia for 70’s melodic punk rock – like Buzzcocks or Undertones without the limey accents. No Front Teeth is in fact a UK label. Gary is as good a singer as he was a yeller in HY and I hope there are more singles to follow.

STEVIE STILETTO AND THE SWITCHBLADES – It’s a Bogus Life 7”

2009-10-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

Razor Records – Jacksonville (1985)

A.O.T.

Just Go Away

Running People Over

Party Dog

Lets Blow this Taco Stand

It’s a Bogus Life

Ray Rae – vocals

Thommy Berlin – guitar

Butler – bass

Rob Akkkkk – drums

Probably the best thing ever from Jacksonville (some Allman Bros and Lynryd Skynyrd possibly excepted). Rather than sitting and sulking in the land of “let’s make the whole dang county into our city – so we can be the biggest” (surprised Texas never thought of this), SSSB made this fine record and more to follow. True to the credo of most Florida punk rock, these guys are not totally serious. Over the course of six songs, we’re treated to near-HC speed songs and slower 50’s, 60’s melodic influences – all memorable and more than competently played. AOT is about as good a hateful punk rock song as I can imagine at the moment. Just Go Away veers toward a commercial new wave sound, but is well written and another stand-out. Running People Over starts with a Gary Numan snippet and winds up stop-start HC concerning running people over. Party Dog is an up-tempo 50’s style rock song. Taco Stand is back to HC and bile. Bogus Life is a statement of the obvious that pretty much sums up the previous five songs. Had they put this out a couple years earlier, collector types would be frothing over it. 1985 gets no respect.

GODS DICK – Shitlife 7” EP

2009-10-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

No Label – Boca Raton – 2009

Last Knife

Phud Hong

God$ Dick

Shitlife

Mid-knife Crisis

One Knife to Live

Amos White – guitar, vocals

Micah Grahat – bass, vocals

Mike Pineyro – drums, vocals

I can’t imagine a sane person, viewing this for the first time, feeling it’s worth their $5.00 ($5.00 is really $5.00 again!!!). Gods Dick is a terrible name for a band – I’m almost offended and I’m a heathen. The cover’s gaudy and ridiculous and ultimately pretty fukkin’ sad (but sealed the deal nonetheless) – and then there’s the song titles. I was pretty sure this was going to be a piece of shit in one fashion or another. One listen and I started to wonder if these guys were complete retards or perhaps………… students of Faxed Head. A quick check of Myspace confirmed it. Gods Dick are brilliant enough to be retards! You get proggy, punky metal with grunting vocals and slightly nihilistic overtones that had me rolling on the floor. But – I’m laughing with them, not at them. Easily the best $5.00 non-alcoholic purchase I’ve made this year. I am proud to be a Floridian once again.

POTENTIAL FRENZY – Please Go Away / Airwaves 7”

2009-10-18T15:38:00.000-07:00

Neptune Records – Orlando –1992

Peter Oldrid – drums, vocals

Norah Salmon – guitar, vocals

John Saylors- bass, vocals

I only recently became aware of this record. It’s good- maybe was a little retro for 1992 – but there’s nothing wrong with a power pop tune that stays with you (Please Go Away). Airwaves is another song bitchin about radio stations – I’ll never understand why anyone expects or feels entitled to ANYTHING worthwhile from the radio – but it’s still ok. I would recommend tracking this one down – though Ms. Salmon’s “Now, I am sitting on a toilet” look on the front cover is much more alluring than the scowling mugg presented on the back cover.

HOLY TERRORS – Cigarettello / Bad Thing 7”

2009-10-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

Esync Records – Miami – 1992

Rob Elba – vocals, guitar

Dan Hosker – guitar, vocals

Frank Labradr – bass, vocals

Sam Fogarino – drums

The Holy Terrors have been around forever – they claim to have not really been an active band for the last 10 years or so – that does not stop them from playing about 6 times a year. And every set, they play Cigarettello – I don’t blame them – it’s probably their best song – you know the one “the flames get higher – higher – higher, etc….”. But - you really do need to rotate out your best song once in a while if only to disappoint people.

Kreamy Lectric Santa – 4 7”

2009-10-10T11:56:00.001-07:00

Tibetan Beefgarden – Miami (1997)

Fear of God

Stupid Fresh

HP2-What was the Chemical Brothers

Priya Ray – vocals, violin

Sir Robert – guitar

Andrew Powell – bass

Ricky Pollo – drums

Jay Russo - ?

Jan 9 – vocals

Tim Vaughn - drums

Probably the most focused, concise evidence of the genius of KLS. Fear of God starts things out right with lots of time-changes, several different vocals - some on-key, some not – it falls apart and regroups a couple times. This kind of song either works or it doesn’t – this one works. Stupid Fresh easily tops FOG. It may be their best song. Clean, surfy guitar with brilliant vocals from Priya – starting out nice & polite and ending up with death metaly screeching. I find this song quite pretty – others may not. I can listen to over & over to the point of embarrassment. Side 2 is a Sir Robert festival freak-out. The band did so well on side one – that they let Robert make incoherent noise on side 2. KLS doesn’t always fare too well in the incoherent noise dept. (not many do!), but this is their best incomprehensible noise to date and winds up perfectly complimenting side 1.

GUS – Get Well Soon 7”EP

2009-10-10T11:53:00.001-07:00

702 Records – Miami Beach (1995)

Get Well Soon

Unsober

10 Point Pedestrian

Ron

Drew

Mike

Same muscular, Chicago-esque rockish punk as their first record – great sound! Songs aren’t as memorable though. 10 Point Pedestrian sounds almost like a less-unhinged Load. Nice bass. Too bad these guys never put out an LP – besides the two 7”es, they only put out a split single with a Gus from that country North of us (that I need to track down) and a cassette that I would listen to if I could. The government needs to convert all cassettes to cd and then forcibly crush them all into pavement, park benches or some other useful item.

NO FRAUD – Elected 7” EP

2009-10-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

Stiff Pole Records – Venice (1991)

Dan Destructo – vocals, guitar, keyboards

Scott Pacer – drums

Buzz Cockrill – bass

Pete Jay – guitar

Elected

Infidelity

Ignorance

F.T.M.I.Y.D.

This appears to be the first of many Stiff Pole Records. It starts out with a very straight Alice Cooper cover – You can’t go wrong with anything from the Alice Cooper Band. Mr. Destructo even sounds like Alice. Infidelity is a rather strange song (is that a keyboard I hear?) extolling the virtues of, well, infidelity. Ignorance is a stop- song exercise in condemning racism – it’s very 1986-ish hardcore – read “not essential”. FTMYIYD is more like it – closer to 1983 chaotic hardcore. You don’t see this around much – it’s good!

JUST BOYS – Hook, Line and Sink Her / Thanks a Lot 7”

2009-10-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

Counterfeit Records – Tampa (1977)

Terry Carolan – Guitar, keyboards, vocals

Bobby Woodrich – bass, vocals

Gary Heslin – drums, vocals

As everyone knows, Florida had literally thousands of rock’n’roll bands releasing records in the 60’s. All that came to an end around 1970. Very few records made it out from 1970 to 1977. Maybe dope had something to do with it! This is probably the first record from Florida in the modern power pop / punk era. These goobers deserve endless credit for that, but lose points for having a stupid name. The music is Cheap Trickish power pop without the hooks. Most copies have either an outer sleeve or a different sleeve than the one I have. That looks like a crazy party!

SNATCH THE PEBBLE – Going Slow / Peon 7”

2009-10-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

Esync – Miami (1991)

Ariyah Okamoto – vocals, guitar

Carl Hefley – guitar, vocals

Mike Gennett – bass, vocals

Tom Worley – drums

First of at least three singles by these guys. A side has a shoegazery sound, but with slightly annoying vocals. There’s little room for annoyance in shoegazerirm, but this isn’t bad. Peon is a little more upbeat, with a bleating “I’m not a Peon” chorus. Overall, not terribly exciting, but has good production and musicianship and reasonably good songwriting.

THE REACTIONS – Love You 7” EP

2009-08-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

Reaction Records – Ft. Lauderdale (1981)

Nights on End

Marianne

I Can’t Help It

Rebel Rousers

Tony Suppa -vocals

Issac Baruch – guitar

Johnny Salton – bass

Joey Maya – drums

The Reactions shoulda been huge. America could have really used a good rough-around the edges power pop band around 1980. Exceptional songwriting, vocals and playing - halfway between punk & power pop. But, alas, they were from Florida and I believe they didn’t tour (I could be wrong). There’s a blurb on the back cover about the Reactions breaking up so the singer could join the family business due to lack of success in the rock world – oh well. The other Reactions bounced around in other bands, most famously, bassist Johnny Salton switched to guitar and became the Keith Richards/Johnny Thunders of S. Fla. Joey Maya was even in an early version of Roach Motel for about 2 days.

Love You is near perfect – but not as good as their first record. They rerecorded Marianne for some reason & Rebel Rousers is their weakest song on record. They had a dozen or so other excellent songs at the time that can currently be found on the internet. Two songs from around this time showed up on Rick Lennick’s Florida Explosion tape in 1985. Besides RR, every song on this record could have been a hit. The production’s a little thin, but with songs this good – who cares?

SPANISH DOGS – Don’t Sweat the Petty Things

2009-08-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

Rasta Dog Records – Ft. Lauderdale (1982)

Mike Kennedy – vocals, guitar, piano

Ruby Cadillac – vocals, guitar

Mike Chatham – bass

Pete Moss – drums

Norman Titcomb – keyboards

Jaco Jacovino – keyboards

Do You Believe

Your Daughter

1990

Atomic Shockwaves

I can sort of appreciate what they’re trying to do here – but this record winds up hit or miss with more misses than hits. Every song is totally different than the next one. Being eclectic is ok, but….here you get white-guy reggae, Cichlidy power pop, futuristic rock and periodic dreariness. Pete Moss was a beast of a drummer but is under-utilized here. Best parts are 1990 and the guitar on Oh- an otherwise dreary song. Your daughter (is a slut) has funny lyrics, but is annoying at the same time.

THE SHADES – Time for Change / Shake It 7”

2009-08-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

Direct Hit Records – St. Petersburg (1980)

Guy Silvestro – drums, vocals

Dennis Dalcin – vocals, guitar

Ed Siersema – bass, vocals

In case anyone was confused, The Shades all wear sunglasses on the cover. This way we know Shades wasn’t short for Lampshades or referring to areas shielded from the sun. The Shades hailed from St. Petersburg and were fairly typical of Central Florida power pop bands of the day. Nice clean early Jam-ish guitar, energetic performances, so-so production, ok vocals, not-so-great lyrics (it is power pop). Time for Change is about 20 seconds too long – the other one is about right.

THE BELTONES – Shitty In Pink / Nobody to Love 7”

2009-08-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Radio Records – Gainesville (2000)??

Bill McFadden – guitar, vocals

Bob – guitar

Willy – drums

Mike – bass

This is the fourth (last?) Beltones single, released after their relocation to Gainesville from South Florida. Although the entire original band relocated to Gainesville, they had all been replaced (except Bill) by the time of this record – after various altercations. Following this record, the Beltones relocated to Austin and may or may not still exist. The cover girl certainly looks like trouble – and one can get a limited edition version with McFadden’s head superimposed on her body – but I’m happy with the one I have. Yikes!

The record, of course, is very good – more of what you’ve grown to expect from the Beltones – scabs or not. Nobody to Love is especially wonderful and was written by renowned Irish person, Shane MacGowan.

News Flash - From a confidential, but indisputable source, Rob Sessions (original Beltone) did play guitar on this record and did not bail out until later. I thought that guy in the dress looked familiar.

GHOST AQUARIUM – Light Cannot Escape /Spiritual Cramp 7”

2009-08-30T08:17:00.001-07:00

Ripping Records – Orlando (2006)

Ron K – guitar, bass, vocals

Mike Q – drums

Doesn’t sound as spooky as the cover would have you believe. Songs are well played and interesting – just too fast to be spooky. The A-side reminds me of a less friendly (or less stoned) Dinosaur Jr. B-side is a little more distorted and a Christian Death cover. I’m not sure if the Ghost Aquarium is a real band (playing guitar and bass at the same time would be tough for Ron K) or more of a Runnamucks Halloween party. It’s good – track it down & get it.

SECTOR FOUR – Disclexia

2009-08-22T06:59:00.001-07:00

Destroy – Tallahassee (1983)

Greg Sapronetti – guitar, vocals

Neal Cline – bass, vocals

Paul Suhor – drums, vocals

Heartbreak Hotel

Jump On You

No Revenge

Time

Table Leg

Soon after recording this fine record, Sector Four decided they had to play as fast as their friends in Hated Youth and became less interesting rather quickly – though the song “Destroy” on Rick Lennick’s Florida Explosion tape is probably the best thing they ever did. The record starts with a goofy version of Heartbreak Hotel complete with Elvis-style vocals – it’s not as bad as that sounds – ok. Jump on You concerns the problem of being a teenager – which they all were – the drummer may have been a pre-teen - I don’t know how they managed to play all those shows at Flynn’s without police interest. No Revenge and Time are among their best songs – sci-fi-ish with a rare quality – welcome use of a phase shifter in a punk rock song. Table Leg is 20 seconds of nonsense yelling about “IT’S 1983!!!”. Truly a reason for the denizens of Tallahassee to hold their heads up and be proud – another rarity.

UFC – 7” EP

2009-08-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

Charged Records – Ft Lauderdale (2000)

Second State

Fuck the World

Punk Rock Stars

I Fucking Hate You

Carlos – bass

Roach – Drums

Jose Juan – guitar

Danny – vocals

Ya gotta give these wackos credit for having giant mohawks in 2000. I would think a giant mohawk would make traditional employment unlikely. I worked with a guy with a mini-hawk in the mid-90’s – there was a short window where you could get away with it. The music is fairly tuneless ugliness influenced by 80’s hardcore and likeminded louts from the United Kingdom. They manage to work the word “fuck” into 50% of their song titles, which is one reason to buy this – along with the shirtless Roach photo on the back.

PINK LINCOLNS – Sumo Fumes (1)

2009-08-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

Stiff Pole Records – Tampa (1993)

Chris Barrows – vocals

John Yovino – guitar

Dorsey Martin – guitar

Jim Belonga – bass

Fred Stolz – drums

Oh! Bondage Up Yours

Monsters

I Got You

First record in their Sumo Fumes line of product. Typically a Sumo Fume includes one or two cover songs and an original along with cover art depicting large Japanese folks. Oh! Bondage Up Yours is a stupid song to cover – You’re only going to sound like shit in comparison to X-Ray Spex – and the Lincolns don’t really pull it off – some cool guitar though. I Got You is a little better – an improvement over the Split Enz on their own song – a lot less fruity than the Kiwis. Monsters is the original, and of course, worth your time & money.

SPAWN SACS – Assholes of the Night EP

2009-08-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

No Label – Miami (1997?)

Quannah –drums

Tom – microphone

Raul Ices – bass

Bryan – ass

Kerb- whiskey

Cinque – guitar

Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun City

Buy Now Pay Later

Dizzy

Real Situation

Assholes of the Night

It could be argued that the Spawn Sacs are a Tennessee band – but they drifted down here long enough to record this record and list a Florida address. Bob Marley wrote one of these songs for them. Each song is louder, faster and uglier than the last one (not quite HC, but the 80's HC influence is there), culminating in their raison d’etre “Assholes of the Night”. The Sacs were well known for their superhuman drinking abilities. Also, one of the best cheap-ass covers I’ve seen.

INCESTIVAL -- 7" compilation EP

2009-08-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

KISS OF DEATH RECORDS -- Orlando (2008)

Four bands: New Mexican Disaster Squad, Polluted Youth, Gatorface, Virgins

Personnel:
Sam Johnson -- NMDS, Virgins
Alex Goldfarb -- NMDS, Gatorface
Eric Pitman -- Virgins, Polluted Youth
Rob Ferry -- Polluted Youth
Richard Minino -- NMDS, Gatorface
Nick Allam -- Polluted Youth, Gatorface
Bryan Quilty -- Gatorface
Phil Longo -- Virgins
Brian Wayne Etherington -- NMDS

Songs:
NMDS -- Yesterday's Faults
Polluted Youth -- Carcinogents
Gatorface -- Risky Business
Virgins -- Our Words

The personnel list above explains the title of this solid compilation of related Orlando bands. All of this stuff is straightforward, fairly quick punk rock. Side one is a little rougher, side two more melodic, but don't fret this stuff never gets too rough or too melodic. If I had to pick a standout, I'd probably point to Gatorface. But there's no call to be picky here. Play it all the way through.

CUTMAN -- Big Deal 7"

2009-08-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

TEAM SCIENCE RECORDS -- Gainesville (2009)

The Itch
Bulldozer Blues

Jonathan Hamilton
Ryan McGrath
Derron Nuhfer
Jason Rockbill

This is one of two simultaneously (or nearly so) released singles that are also available on a single CD. Pretty damn nice heavy cardboard packaging; reminds me of a Rapeman single I have somewhere. Wait a minute...Cutman...Rapeman... No, it has to be coincidence. But then again, I saw this band the other night at the Social in Orlando and didn't I hear a Rapeman song played between Awesome and the Ass-Kickers and these Cutman folks?

I did, but this band does NOT sound like Rapeman. I am confusing things. This is tightly controlled emotive heavy song-driven rock-punk sung by a big guy with low sorta gutteral voice. It is not exactly slow, but these songs aren't going to win any Land Speed Records. And no, it's not cold or angular and there's no synthetic drums or anything.

The B-side could only be written by a Gainesville band as it about land use planning, but not so much from the point of view of anarchists but of urban planners. Bikelanes, property values, widening crosswalks, etc. No Miami (or Chicago) band would write a song like this.

The first two lines of the record: "All your heroes may die in plane crashes/but all my friends will die in their vans."

F – Mess You Up 7” EP

2009-08-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

SuperSeven Records – West Palm Beach (1988)

John Galt – vocals

US Ken Decter – guitar

Eddie Nothing – bass

Pete Moss – drums

Shoot It Down

My Girl Has Balls

Clock Strikes Ten

Crack His Skull

White Xmas

These wacky bastards searched high & low for the worst label they could find and found it in the Mystic Family of labels. The record has logos on it for Mystic Records, SuperSeven Records, Thrash Records, Doug Moody Productions, Bootleg Records and Ghetto-Way Records. Kind of like a punk rock General Motors. Shoot It Down is F’s best song that’s not on You’re an EP – great big rock guitars and the way Mr. Galt sings “he’d like to do something right one day, but he won’t….he just can’t” is perfect. Given their reputation as pranksters, I will assume that My Girl has Balls is a work of fiction. Clock Strikes Ten is somewhat sped up and very well executed, but not different enough from Cheap Trick’s original version to be completely necessary. Crack His Skull means well, but doesn’t rise to A-list F. White X-mas is pretty fukkin cool, from the Tiny Tim intro (real Tiny Tim? – I dunno), to the fairly standard punk rock treatment of the carol (strangely also covered by Stevie Stilleto) to the unexpected petal steel guitar and electric guitar solos at the end – it works! And they remember to leave Christ out of X-mas! The true spirit of Florida punk rock, for better or worse, all rolled into one record.

SMACK – Asaboob 7”

2009-08-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

Cat Records – Miami (1997)

Doing the Wrong Thing

Middle Class

Stereophonic

So Lonely

Tony Pananoia – drums

Kathleen Dirt – guitar, vocals

Man Lee – bass

Captain Z-Row – vocals

Really nice people…..uh…Police cover, uh….kind of like a bad Beltones, with bass as the lead instrument, a ska influence, curious cover, wretched vocals..... Best part is the bonus metallic fish car sticker featuring the band’s name – probably a good way to meet the real police if you actually put it on your car.

THE CRUMBS – Shakespeare / Gonna Like It 7”

2009-08-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

Lookout – Miami (1996)

Johnny B – guitar

Emil 4 ½ - Bass

Raf Classic – guitar, vocals

Chuck Loose – drums

I believe this came out at the same time as their debut LP. The Crumbs were always a little too straight-forward and ’77 for me, in fact they were oft criticized for toning down their rough edges (ex members of Chickenhead, Cavity, etc.) in an effort to get laid. I assume it worked, as they always had a good turn out at their shows. The Crumbs got a little more interesting and musically advanced on later releases at they adopted some Americana-isms. That said, there’s nothing wrong with this record. Shakespeare sounds great – a short to-the-point punk rock blast. B-side's ok too.

VOODOO IDOLS – We dig Nixon / Dead Air 7”

2009-08-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

VeeDee Records – Tampa (1982)

Butchie Necropolis – guitar

Hughie Whoopie – drums

Johnny Yen – vocals

Vah Metz – bass

Merlo – sax

Second single by these Cramps fans. I much prefer the first single, but this one is more sought-after by record collectors. Fuck You, We Dig Nixon is the better song. I doubt there’s any truth to the rumor that Richard Nixon was listening to this on his deathbed, but it is a spirited (possibly sincere) defense of our former president. Dead Air is a song about some radio show or station in the Tampa area. People used to get worked up about the radio back then.

DOUR (with Blatant Disregard) – 2222 / Simplify 7”

2009-08-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

Dour Music – Boca Raton (1996)

I have never heard anything about this band….but, you’re in a store and see a 7” by a band named Dour with a Florida address…what are you going to do? My sleeve says “6 of 100”, so I’m one of the lucky. Though not exactly cheerful, they don’t quite live up to their name. Dour are generally typical up-tempo mid-90’s indie rock with female (I think) vocals. Songs are semi-memorable, drummer sounds like he’s working hard – I like it.

DISCOUNT – All too often 7” EP

2009-08-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

Mighty Idy Records – Vero Beach (1996)

Ryan – guitar, vocals

James – bass

Alison – vocals

Bill – drums

Disappointed

Miller Street

Black Eye

All too Often

Back in the day (mid 90’s), several people I knew disapproved of Discount. I’m not sure why – this was a long time before Alison Mosshead had a real career with the Kills and now Dead Weather. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but they would have benefited from slowing the songs down a little. The vocals are delivered too fast and wind up sounding thin and one-dimentional. This single is cool, but a full length like this would probably get boring. They released several other singles and at least two LP’s and had something of a national presence.

THE WRAP – Let Me Go / He’s Not There 7”

2009-08-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

Oh My Honey Music – Miami (?) (1980)

Cindy Ward – vocals

Mickie Slik – guitar, vocals

Joey Callari – drums

Diane Barron – bass

Robert Loehr – guitar

The first and probably only band formed in the wake of Cichlid-mania. While these folks lose points for being such obvious students of the aforementioned Cichlids, this isn’t a bad single. He’s Not There is the B-side and the best song here (yes- it’s a Zombies cover) – cool guitar! Let Me Go suffers from lyrics the Cichlids would probably refuse to sing, but still has its charms.

TREMBLES – Stupid Fool / Feel Alright 7”

2009-08-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

Mental Records- Ft. Lauderdale (1986)

Napolitano Bros – songwriters

Timothy – Producer

Not sure if these people are oldsters reliving their former glory or younger dweebs trying to recreate the sounds of the 60’s. I’m more sympathetic to the first assumption (being technically old), so we’ll assume that. Stupid Fool is the uptempo track and is good enough, except the “Stoop Stoop Stupid Fool” chorus gets repetitive and annoying. Feel Alright is the slower, more sensitive song and is also not bad, though, like the other song, the verses are catchy and enjoyable, but the chorus kinda blows.

XBAND – Pleasures of Life EP

2009-08-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

Yomamas Records Tallahassee (1986)

NCT

Behind the Wall

Moondog

Stop This Now

Chris Gleasman – bass

Bruce Hamilton – drums

Tommy Hamilton – guitar

Jeff Merritt – vocals

I’m staring at the cover trying to figure out what’s going on – an army of enraged carrots? We have hardcore from 1986 Tallahassee that manages to be somewhat distinctive with decent, clear vocals, well played stop-start songs, all without sounding like speed metal. Nice production – one of my favorite HC records after the “golden years of HC” of 1980-1984.

CROWSDELL – Down / Bubbles 7”

2009-08-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

Figurehead – Jacksonville (1992)

Laurie Wall – drums

Paul Croasdell – bass

Shannon Wright – guitar, vocals

Indie rock trio from fukkin Jacksonville. This is quite a nice single – not as good (or as punk rock) as Scrawl or Vomit Launch, but close. This is the 12^th release from Orlando’s Figurehead label. They probably had to travel to Orlando or Gainesville for shows to escape the distopia that is Jacksonville. You can’t go wrong when you decorate your record sleeve with a fish. Shannon Wright now records solo for Touch and Go.

DEREK LYN PLASTIC – Methamphetamines EP

2009-08-08T07:53:00.001-07:00

Florida’s Dying – Tampa (2006)

D Duncan

R Knight

D Bram

D Woodard

PJ Woodard

Methamphetamines

Waste My Time

Walk the Dead

All My Fault

Great record and another good example of the Machine Gun Etiquette rule – start out with one of your best songs and follow it with a song almost as good, but twice as fast. Can’t lose that way. Methamphetamines has great off-kilter guitar and keyboard riffs and features opinions that would not be endorsed by the Drug Czar. Waste My Time is like 30 seconds long, but a very effective 30 seconds. Side two is great too – it only suffers in comparison to side one. Stellar – track it down & buy it!

U-BOATS – Dead and Desparate EP

2009-08-08T07:46:00.000-07:00

Crow Records – Tampa (1983)

America Unemployed

VFW Ball

Bad Boy

Mike Nelson – vocals

Jay Jetmore – guitar

Aaron Knerr – drums

Alex Civiletti – bass

Second single from Tampa’s U-Boats. They followed this with an LP and their disappearance from the music industry. They were fairly well know back in the day, but I can’t remember them ever playing anywhere but Tampa. Anyway, America Unemployed concerns the injustice of not being able to find employment, despite such worthy attributes as laziness, open hostility and slovenliness. B-side consists of two short songs displaying bad attitudes with varying degrees of cleverness. Bad Boy sounds great if you can ignore lyrics such as “I need a new toy because I am a bad boy” – it’s a little difficult as that’s the chorus though. Overall a quite good up-tempo PUNK ROCK record – no real HC influence here.

MYRIN & THE 2 WOTZ – Mariel Man / Song from a Spic 7”

2009-08-08T07:40:00.001-07:00

No label – Miami (1984??)

Andy Clarke

Leo Casino

Frank Falestra

Johnny Jarrell

Willie “Myrin” Orozco

The date of this record is a complete guess. It’s probably good within 3 years or so. Among the band, the only recognizable name to me is Frank “Rat Bastard” Falestra. This record is easily worse than the experience of seeing Scraping Teeth (judged America’s worst band by Spin magazine). Basically, this is party-novelty rock (think company picnic, corporate event, etc - in sound only), complete with prominent saxophone, concerned solely with Marielitos, in a manner some may find offensive. Local scenesters Dave Camp & Elaine, Dave Daniels and Hal Spector appear in limited capacities and bear minor culpability for this. I’m left scratching my head wondering what target audience they were hoping to snare.

ZENITH NADIR – We are the Intimidators Flexi

2009-08-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

50 Play Records – Tampa (1979)

Too bad the Zenith Nadirs only left one song, because this one is a mixed bag. For a song about intimidating others with the threat of rearranged faces, it’s a fairly dispassionate affair. The guitar is good, probably the best thing about this record, but a little studied in spots. They should have sped it up – but what did they know it being 1979 in Tampa. I’ve seen an interview with them in an old Mouth of the Rat, but know little else about them. I believe they splintered into several different bands.

ROACH MOTEL -- What the Hell, It's 7" EP

2009-08-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

DESTROY RECORDS -- Gainesville/Fort Lauderdale (1984)

Brooke Shields Must Die
Frenzy
Nothing to Lose
What If Your Mom Liked Drugs?
Chowburger
I Wanna Keep My Gun

Bob Fetz -- vocals
Jeff Hodapp -- guitar
Frank Mullin
Russ Avery -- bass (and embezzlement)

The sophomore effort by the Black-Flag-and-Budweiser fueled Roach Motel starts out with a punk anthem, 'Brooke Shields Must Die,' that is worthy of anything on the first record. Shields, by the way, was a prepubescent movie star that I imagine is long forgotten, although she's apparently still alive. The only role of hers I can recall is the promo line that opens the first 'Rodney on the ROQ' LA punk comp. Oh, forget about Brooke Shields already. Brooke Shields must DIE!

Back to Roach Motel. This is a solid followup to 'Roach and Roll' and doesn't deviate much from the established RM hardcore punk formula. The new addition to the band, Russ Avery, contributes two great songs and apparently ripped off and bankrupted the band as well. But 'What if Your Mom Liked Drugs' (written with Hodapp) and 'I Wanna Keep My Gun' are worth something, which should somehow be (or have been) taken into account in the final settlement. 'Frenzy' and 'Nothing to Lose' are great too. Fine record.

News flash - Sources report, after viewing a My Name is Earl-a-thon, Mr. Avery recently returned all missbegotten monies and was readmitted to the Punk Rock League of Gentlemen.

SHEER SMEGMA -- Audio Suicide 7" EP

2009-08-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

FARTFACED DECADENCE RECORDS -- West Palm Beach (1980)

Clubnite
Alophen Baby
I Wanna Be a Man
I Owe it to the Girls

Cookie Mold -- vocals
Fish -- bass
Spam Ax-- guitar
Joesaphine Dupont -- drums

There were a number of excellent early punk rock bands in Florida, like The Eat, Charlie Pickett, the Reactions, etc. But there was a traditional sound to each of these that seemed to emphasize the 'rock' in punk rock. Sheer Smegma? Not so much.

This record is casually inept and at times disgusting (see: Alophen Baby). It is also sheer bloody poetry. Check this out: "I gave you quaaludes/I held your cock/we spoke in dipthongs/clubnite." The two songs by Fish ('Clubnite' and 'I Owe it to the Girls') can be enjoyed more than once. The other two must be heard, though. Cookie was a mad genius, queen of uncontrollable vileness and unhealthy habits.

The band self-destructed fairly quickly and, in fact, today Cookie claims to be dead and won't even acknowledge her own existence, let alone her band's. But prior to her demise Jello Biafra's Alternative Tenacles rescued this record from obscurity by reissuing it as a 12" under the name "Teddy and the Frat Boys" and now it sits in punk record collections across the globe. It should be in yours as well.

GAY COWBOYS IN BONDAGE -- Owen Marshmallow Strikes Again

2009-08-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

SUBLAPSE -- Fort Lauderdale (1984)

Big Fat Baloney Sandwich
Crime & Violence
The Illness Song
More Bruises
Funny Red Mustache of Kool-Aid
Fist May Follow

Eddie -- Bass
Pete Moss -- Guitar
Ravenous Gangrene -- drums
Milo -- vocals

This is a silly record by a very silly band. For a time in the heart of the hardcore period of the early '80s, Florida was known for producing joke punk bands. Most were so dismissive of the punk genre and self-deprecating that their very existence was a contradiction. GCIB approached this, but due to some good songwriting, a couple of actual musicians and a frenetic and inspiring (yet, let's face it, pretty goddamn silly) frontman, they instead are remembered rightly as a solid South Florida punk band. And they are remembered: just last weekend (July 2009) I heard a Lake Worth band -- Asspiss -- cover 'Big Fat Baloney Sandwich.'

GCIB was often associated with the somewhat more straightforward hardcore band F, with whom they hung out with and shared three members (albeit not simultaneously). The observant will notice the cartoon artwork on this EP matches that of the Reagan cartoons in F's 'You are an EP' record, thanks to Eddie Nothing. All the Cowboys yukked it up in live shows, but it was Milo who was the star, known both for his cartoonish leaping and pushing his glasses backup his nose during performances.

All of these songs are good, catchy, quick punk rock. It may sound a little thin for tough guys, but you can be sure the Gay Cowboys didn't care about macho punk posturing. That was the whole point.

FLOOR – Loanin /Figbender 7”

2009-08-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Dirge Records – Hialeah (1994)

Steve Brooks

Anthony Vialon

Clint Sutton – drums

Swans crossed with heavy metal – What’s not to like? Future records were not quite as harsh. The bass just kills everything. I would also recommend for pest control purposes at high volumes. Might not rid your home of two legged pests as fast as the Swans though. They lack the supreme pretentiousness of that band. Cover’s awesome – if I was that kid, I’d run – but they stole it from somewhere else. Also printed with biodegradable paper and ink.

FEEBLES – To Clone a Mammoth / Marilyn 7”

2009-08-03T16:53:00.001-07:00

No Label – Miami (1995)

Jimmy the Brain (?) – vocals, guitar

Tim Vaughn (?)– drums

Some other dude - bass

It’s unclear if the band’s name is a tribute to the Peter Jackson movie “Meet the Feebles” or the real life abilities of certain members of the band. My rapidly degenerating memory tells me that this band included Jimmy the Brain Sevigny (brother of actress Chloe Sevigny and leader of the Human Oddities, I am told) and Tim Vaughn (KLS). I could be wrong. They sound reminiscent of said Human Oddities. Songs are fast quirky punk concerning cloning of a wooly mammoth and an undying love for the brain and ass of Marilyn Vos Savant (the world’s smartest person – thanks Wikipedia). I'll put it in the plus column.

TRIPLE XXX GIRLS – 7” EP

2009-08-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

Red Hair Records – Tampa (1982)

Telefliction

Kissy Kissy

Another Day

Cowboy Dread

Mike Knapp – vocals, horn

Dorsey Martin – guitar

Sean Moore – drums

Frank Poole – bass

Heinous cover! This might be the crappiest/ creepiest cover in FLA history. Anyway – to their credit or detriment, these guys don’t look too comfortable on the back cover. They’re no doubt thinking – “if mom comes home it’ll be bad – if dad comes home – FUCKKKK”. We’ll blame the early 80’s and Tampa for their “look”. Otherwise, this record is pretty fukkin awful bad new wave glam glop. The goofy ass singing leaves no hope for redemption. There is some “shredding” guitar from Dorsey Martin – who later joined the far more manly band – the Pink Lincolns. At least one more 7” and 12” exist from these goofballs.

LARAMIE DEAN You Can Almost Smell the Rubber Burn 7” EP

2009-08-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

No Label - Hollywood (1999)

Four Barreled

The Last Lap

Praang

Aluminum

Laramie Dean – guitar

Geoffrey Hicks – bass

James Cable – drums

Surf-rock from Hollywood with car noises. I’m not an aficionado of this type of music – but it’s cool in short doses – the beauty of the 7” record – an LP would drive me up the wall. Other incarnations of this band have included such South Florida luminaries as Juan Montoya, Laura Simpson and Dominic Sirianni. Nice cover art by Mr. Montoya.

SAFEWAY – Slaves / Pheromones 7”

2009-08-03T16:44:00.001-07:00

Influx Records – Hialeah (1993)

Weird ass record here – electronic drums, keyboards, groaning tribal sounds all from Hialeah. Taken from a forthcoming album entitled “How much more can you take?” which probably never appeared. Would probably appeal most to a Revolting Cocks fan – not bad – I like the electronic groaning on Slaves. I know next to nothing about this endeavor, including how it came into my possession.

BREATHERS – 7” EP

2009-08-03T16:34:00.001-07:00

Hivariety Records – Ft.Lauderdale (1982)

Did You Think

Don’t it make you feel

Fallen In Love Again

Hoze Fleming – guitar

Rick Harper – bass vocal guitar

Erich Overhultz – piano organ

GT Staley – drums

Talk about pandering to the lowest common denominator – if you don’t enjoy breathing – you’re very unlikely to buy this record. This record had two labels – one in Ft Lauderdale – one in Hamburg Germany and two dates 1982 and 1987. This definitely was not recorded in 1987. Given the mustaches on the back cover, you can tell these dudes had a lot of good dope. I was mistakenly hoping for some kind of Krautrock – like Can or Faust – but no. Did You Think is on “The Land that Time Forgot” compilation and is a pretty good song in a Beatles-type of way. The other two songs are not good and not bad, also in a Beatles / 70’s rock kind of way. I believe another 7” and an LP were released by these folks. The drummer was in NRBQ which may mean something to someone.

F-BOYZ – Sinnin’ Like Mad EP

2009-07-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

Destroy – Pembroke Pines (1988)

Psycho ‘88

Don’t Fuck Me Up

Satellite Kitchen

Bus of Doom

Sexist and Proud

Matty Luv – guitar

Seaweed – vocals

Scotty – bass

Gorgeous George – drums

Best South Florida punk band of the late 80’s right before they said “fuck it”, became the Fuckboyz and eventually scurried out of town. A real breath of fresh air after hardcore had run its course (and yes – it ran its course!) Recorded with finesse by Mr. Hal Specter. All five songs are excellent and most primarily concern extreme loutish behavior. Psycho ‘88 contains one distinct phrase describing bad behavior every 7 1/2 seconds (including eating green eggs and ham)– it’s quite an accomplishment. Don’t Fuck Me Up shows the Boyz’ sensitive side – and is great poppy-punk. Satellite Kitchen is more poppy punk – this one about loafing and doing nothing important in the future (sci-fi indolence). Bus of Doom concerns a city bus that shuttles its passengers to hell (the deli of despair) rather than the mall. On Sexist and Proud, the F-Boyz apparently offend even themselves as it doesn’t appear on their retrospective cd. Then again the target audience for the sentiments voiced here is kind of limited in San Francisco, where they relocated – for example – “I like the way things used to be – I don’t care about equality”. There might even be a city ordinance against it.

JACK OFF JILL – My Cat / Swollen 7”

2009-07-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

Rectum Records – Ft. Lauderdale (1994)

Robin Moulder – bass

Tenni Ah-Cha-Cha – drums

Michelle Inhell – guitar

Jessicka – vocals

Jack off Jill were always a joy to see live – they always sounded good, there was always a possibility of flying dildos or whatever, and are runner up of foulest mouthed female Florida band ever (winner is the Smegmettes, of course). I loved their “Children 5 and up” tape, but was a bit disappointed by this one. “My Cat (can eat a whole watermelon)” is kinda stupid – though it does include the line -“I’d fuck him if I could”. “Swollen” is the 90’s formula – mid-speed sweetly sung verse, followed by screaming, faster chorus – then repeat…I’m not sure if this record is produced by pre- or post- big deal Marilyn Manson, who helps give it a big-rock sound. That and fully competent playing keep this from sounding like most of the riot girl bands of the day. Jessicka now fronts Scarling out of L.A., who are quite good.

RUBY CADILAC – Ten Seconds to Hell / Black Widow 7”

2009-07-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

Lady in Black – Ft. Lauderdale (1986)

Ruby Cadilac

3 other wenches

As the record’s cover attests, the 80’s were a crazy time. The A-side is sub-Runaways meets metal - Lita Ford trying to record with $150.00. The B-side is sort of sleazy bar band blues metal. You REALLY have to be in the right mood to listen to this, but it seems to be growing on me. Worth it for the cover alone.

MINIMUM WAGE – Please do not buy this if it costs more than 95c EP

2009-07-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

No Label – Miami (1986)

A Bad Reception

Hanger

Food Song

Gega-Del

I see a major inferiority complex at work here. The band’s name, the record’s title, the fact that no band names or writing credit is listed gives me this impression. The going rate for a 7” record in 1986 was probably $2.50 or $3.00 – I’m not sure why they felt their work was only worth a fraction of that. A truly annoying singer singing truly annoying lyrics does not help. The rest of the Minimum Wage are not that dynamic either, though they were ahead of their time in that they sound more like a bland 90’s or 00’s indie rock band than an 80’s band.

STUN GUNS -- Fast, Clean, Cheap 7"

2009-07-24T15:39:00.000-07:00

RECESS RECORDS -- Miami (1995?)

Un Mejor Manana
Make That to Go (Girls on Drugs)
Blindfold

More crime-themed malarkey from one of the better 1990s South Florida bands, which is saying a lot because the mid-1990s punk revival down here produced a goodly amount of this kind of thing. There is no personnel listed on this record, but presumably this is the roughly the same star-studded staff of the Stun Guns other releases. Up front is former Lethal Yellow front man Paul Enema, and he sounds just as lazy, bored, drunk and snide here as he does anywhere else, including at work. All three songs are quick and catchy, with one in Spanish (a nod to both half the band and probably half the Miami audience too). There's no real point in picking favorites; if you see a Stun Guns single, or their one LP, buy it.

BUTTERCUPS/CRETEENS 7" split

2009-07-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

FLORIDA'S DYING -- Orlando (2005)

CRETEENS:
I Don't Want to Be Educated
Hound Dog

BUTTERCUPS:
I Wanna Live
Throwing Bulls

No personnel listed.

Both sides are trashy cretin garage punk -- heavy, quick and sloppy.

The Creteens A-side probably has the edge. 'Educated' carries a persuasive message over caveman drums, cymbals and distortion that are hard to distinguish from each other. 'Hound Dog' is surprisingly worthwhile, in a Germs-does-Chuck-Berry 'Round and Round' kind of way. The Buttercups B-side is similar enough that it belongs on the same record.

CULT RITUAL 7" EP

2009-07-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

BURRITO RECORDS -- Tampa (2007)

Weak Body
Clean Conscience
Bitter End
Unhappiness
Terrified
Why Wait
Regret

Dave V - guitar
Tommy C - drums
Zack A - bass
Dan R - vocals

Most of this is fairly generic hardcore, but you know you like things like this when you got a couple of beers in you and the volume's up real loud.

"Just scream/we scream to hear ourselves scream/to hear the scream/in which there is no response/unhappy rock/unhappy roll/unhappy dirt/dead."

AGAINST ALL AUTHORITY - Above the Law 7" EP

2009-07-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

FAR OUT RECORDS -- Miami (1994)

Danny Lore - bass, vocals
Joe Koontz - guitar, backing vocals
Joey Jewkes - trumpet, backing vocals
Kris King- drums

We Won't Submit
Above the Law
Under Your Authority
Court 22

Beware, all officers of the law. This band is going to bash your brains out with baseball bats (judging by the cover) or at least shout bad words at you in unison (judging by the record). In spite of the trumpet and on-again-off-again ska beats, this is a pretty aggressive guitar record and not at all good-time college boy ska. That is a good thing. No pleas for for racial harmony or manufactured memories of Kingston here, just emerging from trailers and taking on the Metro Dade Police. Fuck you, man!

CHARLIE PICKETT & THE EGGS - Feelin'/White Light 7"

2009-07-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

Open Records -- Fort Lauderdale (1981)

Charlie Pickett -- vocals, guitar

Barry Elliot -- guitar, vocals

Ken Lindahl-- bass

Leigh Stoner -- drums

Feelin'

White Light White Heat

In his first recorded outing Mister Pickett makes two well-chosen covers his own, something he will do over and over again with different lineups throughout his rock/roll career. This is roughly the same Eggs lineup that appears on his second single of 1981, 'If This is Love Can I Get My Money Back" but completely different from 1982's "Live at the Button" and subsequent releases.

'Feelin' is originally by Johnny Kidd and the Pirates, a British early '60s band from which he would borrow another song ('Please Don't Touch') for the 'Button' record. This too is a Pickett pattern. If he likes a band, he'll cover several songs from them -- e.g., Flaming Groovies and Mark Markham. The common denominator of these covers is this: Pickett picks songs that it sounds like he might have written and plays them as if he did.

'White Light' is a tighter, cleaner version of the VU classic. Same story.

OVARYDOSE – Growth / Shame, It’s All the Same 7”

2009-07-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

Goldentone Records – Gainesville (1994)

Jen Rollins – vocals
Liz Lizard – guitar
Deb Ramone – guitar
Becky Butler – bass
Megan Oxley – drums

Slow, grungy, somewhat unpleasant, menstrual-themed record on deep red vinyl!!!Deb Ramone was a member of Gainesville stalwart punk band - the Mutley Chix. There’s definitely a bitchy complaining angry feel to this record and the songs never speed up much faster than your average Melvins dirge. That’s right- all the beer cans on the front cover are not half full –they are empty and crumpled. Luckily, I like this kind of thing.

RADIOBAGHDAD – 1st (?) 7”

2009-07-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

Dick Dog records -Coral Springs (1994)?

Give Up
Stanley Bing
Brutus
Dick Dog

Based on this record’s cover, a relatively recent show and my fading memory, I was expecting this to be total backward ballcap wearin’ slob-punk. In reality, Stanley Bing and Brutus are great punk / post punk with a heavy influence of Fugazi’s better songs. I think their positive aspects started eroding after this record – but another record is in the vault – so we’ll see…Though, if you absolutely have to have a butt smoking a cigarette on your cover – you should go full color – or better yet go back to the drawing board.

KREAMY ‘LECTRIC SANTA – Music for Meditation relaxation and the Imminent Overthrow of all World Governments 7” EP

2009-07-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Starcrunch Records – Miami (1996)

Steak & Acid
Claudette Colbert
Holdin’ Yerself
KLS meets the Phantom of Tropical Park
Heros of the 90’s
T.Smith vs. Gastro in the pits of Dante’s L.A.

SirBoTurbo – guitar, vocals, tapes
Priya Ray – violin, vocals
Jan Nine – vocals, space whispers
Tim Vaughn –drums
Andrew Ross Hurricane Youth Powell – bass

This record continues to be frustrating and pisses me off – but is still essential. At this point in their “careers”, they had the best rhythm section I knew of in music – but were swayed by the lo-fi movement into recording on 2 tracks, ghetto blasters and wax cylinders. These same songs blew yer head off at live shows but sound very one-dimensional here. This is also a concept 7” – another sin – concerning something about Crass – tons of unintelligible propaganda comes with the record. The songs are, of course, avant-punk weirdness of the highest order. The goofy punk ripoff of KLS meets the Phantom rolls into Heros of the 90’s – a classic KLS track with lots of twists and turns, which in turn rolls into a noisy collage-type thing. Side 2 starts with Steak and Acid – (no doubt a bad idea – I tried chicken gyro and acid once and thought I was gonna puke and die). In this case – the song is not harmful and not terribly memorable. Claudette Colbert and to a lesser extent Holdin’ Yerself are almost pretty songs – very nice.

CICHLIDS – Lifeguard Dan – Lifeguard Dan 7” EP

2009-07-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

Bold (TK) Records – Hialeah (1980)

Lifeguard Dan
Tourists are Pink
Bubblegum

Debbie Mascaro – vocals, guitar
Bobby Tak – drums
Susan Robbins - Bass
Allan Portman – guitar

I’ll always have a spot in my heart for the Cichlids – they were local semi-rockstars in my long lost youth. Their records are pretty damn dated though. In South Florida in 1980, the line between new wave and punk was still being drawn. These folks were clearly in the new wave camp– but disintegrated soon after this record (and their LP) was released. TK Records (of early Miami soul and later disco fame) put this out on their subsidiary Bold label. Inner band and managerial (Robert Mascaro!) wackiness helped doom this band. Lifeguard Dan and Bubblegum are a little too, well, bubblegum to listen to – but Tourists are Pink is pretty good. The Cichlids direct all of their anger at innocent tourists, rather than everyone’s shared enemy – the man.

THE EAT – Hialeah 7” EP

2009-07-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

Jeterboy Records – Hollywood (1995)

Hialeah
Shoes Shoes Shoes
M80 Ant Death
Psychotic McHale’s Navy
Dream of Yogi

Mike O’Brien – vocals, guitar
Eddy O’Brien – guitar, vocals, bass
Chris Cottie – drums
Kenny Lindahl – bass, guitar

A flawless record. I can’t consistently name a favorite or least favorite song on this record. They had 3 or 4 songs recorded in the same sessions that were equally good and a few others that weren’t bad– this should have been an LP in 1995. In my mind Hialeah is a strong contender for best FLA record ever. Previous records seem to be a 50/50 split between the talents of brothers Mike and Eddie – this one leans heavily to Mike. Great guitar work throughout – but nothing quite as amazing as some of the moments on God Punishes. Hialeah (the song) is an ode to the old racetrack – not the crappy city. Shoes Shoes Shoes was originally (I think) a Morbid Opera song named Skumbucket from when Mike was drummer for that band. Total stream of consciousness nonsense over a great riff -“I want to kill all your pets – don’t be afraid of my shoes”. M-80 Ant Death has great back and forth vocals from the O’Briens and promotes a very inefficient way of dealing with a fire ant problem. PMN is another pefect pop-punk masterpiece about god-knows what. Dream of Yogi sounds a little different – it’s written by Kenny Lindahl – and stands up with the others. In a sane world, these guys would have had real music careers – you know – the ones that involve actual money.

THE COMETS – Help Me / Big Business Jokes 7”

2009-07-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

Orange Records – Orlando (1983)

Mitch Shields
others

Help Me sounds vaguely like the Jam – it’s good, I can listen to it. Big Business Jokes sounds more like the Jam than the Jam does – that’s not a compliment – Jesus – get your own sound!! These dudes have one more single that never seems to turn up. I’m pretty sure they played around the Central Florida region quite a bit. I don’t remember seeing them – but who knows…..I’m also not sure if this Orange Records is the same Orange Records that Rich Rags was on.

HOLY TERRORS – s/t 7” EP

2009-07-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

Esync Records – Miami (1990)

Spirit
Shine
Stranger

Rob Elba – guitar, vocals
Dan Hosker – guitar, vocals
Frank Labrador – bass, vocals
Sam Fogarino – drums

First record by long running South Florida band. As of 2009, they’re still at it – at least Rob and Dan are. I’m not sure what happened to the Labrador guy – and Sam Fogarino fled Florida for fame and fortune with Interpol (the band, not the international police organization). They still play Shine at their shows (write more songs!!!) Holy Terrors were one of the first bands to emerge after the horrible crash of local music in the late 80’s. It’ sounds like the Terrors may have had some career ambitions at the time. Spirit, especially, is very commercial sounding featuring spacey guitar from Mr. Hosker. The record is maybe a little tame – especially given the beast the Terrors would become in live settings. Its good, its produced by Rat Bastard – it’s a nice start.

ELECTRIC BUNNIES – 2nd 7”EP

2009-07-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Florida’s Dying – Miami (2008)

Chewing Gum
Love Radiation
Super Fluorescent Hippo Flashback
The Stranger

Eldys Diaz - guitar, vocal
Victor - guitar, vocal
Thomas - drums

Excellent follow-up to their wonderful Eskimo single. Essential Florida weirdo-rock. Chewing Gum is deadpan vocals over a bubblegum riff – kind of annoying, kind of great. Love Radiation is a catchy punk rock song – the most conventional song here. SFHF is a semi-throwaway trashy noisy punk song – it’s ok. The Stranger is brilliant – slow noodley music with occasional noise bursts all about feelings of isolation and alienation and basically being the stranger. Once again, cool cover art.

JACUZZI BOYS – S/T 7” EP

2009-07-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

Florida’s Dying – Miami (2007)

Ghost Ghost
Age of the Giant Jellyfish
Komi Caricoles

Gabriel – vocal, guitar
Diego – drums, vocal, keyboards
Danny – bass, bells

First (and best!) of several singles by this Miami band. Ghost Ghost is completely great. All songs are influenced by 60’s garage with an exotic, swampy feel. Reverb fans will be pleased. Jacuzzi Boys seem to have come out of nowhere and managed to forge an original sound. I’m not sure of the significance of the band’s moniker or if there’s any relation to the Jacuzzi Fuzz – another S. Fla. Band (I think). I would think these guys are a singles band – as early live performances started to drag a little toward the end – but they have an LP on the way that hopefully will prove me wrong.

THE PANICS – I’m a Fan / Test-Test 7”

2009-07-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

Superdisc – Ft. Myers (1980)

S. Eldridge
J. Slaughter
J. Becker

The Panics put out two 7”es and an LP in the early 1980’s in Ft. Fukkin Myers. They must have felt like the biggest freaks/goofballs in the world - operating in near isolation. Ft. Myers is a sad place now – it must have been that much worse back in 1980. I don’t remember hearing about them “back in the day”, so they probably never or rarely made it out of Ft. Myers. These dudes probably had the last laugh though, as recently their records seem to be back in circulation – and at collector prices. That box in the back of the closet for 30 years is finally paying off. My copy of this record doesn’t have the picture sleeve – a nice nuclear explosion. I’m a fan is catchy, well-played, well-produced power pop. I hate songs about fandom – but I’ll give this one a pass. Test-test is closer to punk rock with an ungainly riff that works, rad guitar, negative outlook – all you need.

CHILDRESS – Two Fisted Dongus 7” Ep

2009-07-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

Starcrunch Records – Miami (1995)

Waterboy
Florence King
John

Noah Vail – guitars, vocals
Shayne Hansen – drums

The lone record by Miami’s Childress is much better than I had remembered. It’s probably the weakest record on the Starcrunch label, but still recommended. Waterboy and Florence King are pretty good slow to mid tempo weirdo punk rock with straight-ahead instrumentation and off kilter vocals. John is the weakest song – “John – I’m not a mountain goat” – not sure what that’s about. If you find the cover art either offensive or juvenile and stupid, you are unlikely to enjoy the record inside. Childress featured Noah Vail from Human Oddities and Shayne Hansen from various Miami bands including Broken Talent (briefly, I think), Trash Monkeys and others – before they got fed up and kicked him out. Shayne would later gain fame by doing solo shows playing drum solos to videos of hockey fights – only at Churchills – of course.

FUTURISK – Army Now / What We Have to Have 7”

2009-07-09T17:40:00.000-07:00

Clark Humphrey Records – Deerfield Beach (1980)

Jack Howard – drums
Jeremy Kolosine – vocals, synthetic guitars, mandolin
Frank Lardino – synthesizers
Jeff Marcus – did not play bass

Easily the best FLA synth record of the era – at least in part because they picked the right influences – Devo, Gary Numan and not fruitcakes like Howard Jones or whatever that their Tampa brethren looked up to. Both songs are well-crafted, memorable and futuristic as all hell. There’s at least two different covers for this record -this one being the coolest – also has a cool-as-shit nighttime band photo – making these guys look threatening – which they probably weren’t in real life. They made one more 7” and then became so minimalist that they disappeared.

CAPSULE – Voluminant 7” EP

2009-07-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

CAPSULE – Voluminant 7” EP
Makeshift Origami – Miami (2006)

You Will Need
Voluminant
Lukewarm

Colin
Eric
Shane

Modern – avant metal with chaotic Harry Pussy-ish guitar and shouted vocals interspersed with metallic droning. Nice bleak black and gray cover. I’ve seen ‘em once or twice at Churchills and they look right at home there….and I used to think metal was a dead end!

GARGIRLS/DRUG CZARS split 7"

2009-07-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

DESTROY RECORDS -- Ft. Lauderdale (1997)

GARGIRLS: I'll Stab You!

Stripteaser

Wine Nights

Trish -- drums

Terra -- bass

Lisa -- guitar

Monica -- vocals

Noisy anti-stylish dirges with female vocals, generally shouted. Wine nights! Two other South Florida all-girl bands sprung out of this one, Fraulein and Angry Pudding. You can hear elements of both in these songs. Wine nights!

DRUG CZARS: Lets' Go Satan

Let's Go Satan

Someday I'll Crush Them All Like Bugs

Michael O'Brien -- guitar, vocal

Chris Cottie -- drums, vocal

Jeff Hodapp -- guitar

Buddha -- bass

Two ex-members of the Eat fronted and backed this band and there was a former Roach Motel member playing cranky noise guitar somewhere in the middle. This record sounds nothing like either band, though. Oh, maybe "Someday" could have been an Eat song, but it wouldn't have sound dense and heavy like this. There is lots of picking and skranking, so you have to play it really loud to get the full effect. I don't believe these guys were ever employed by the Justice Department in spite of their name.

THE HATE BOMBS -- Untitled four song 7" EP

2009-07-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

SCREAMING APPLE RECORDS (Koln, Germany) -- Orlando (1996)

What a Woman Wants

Like It That Way

Everytime

Cry Into the Night

Dave Ewing -- guitar, vocals

Mick Crowley -- guitar, vocals, organ

Scott Sugiuchi -- bass, chatter

Ken Chiodini -- drums, vocals

More '60s American garage rock from The Hatebombs. You know these revival bands are good when their originals are better than their covers and that is the case here with "Cry in the Night" by Q65 being easily surpassed by the the savage "What a Woman Wants" and "Like It That Way." The latter steals the drum gimmick from the Sonics' "Psycho" to great effect.

THE GROANS -- What to Wear? 7"

2009-07-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

LEASH DOG RECORDS -- Orlando (1994)

Happy Birthday 21

Politics of Losing

Nick K -- vocals, guitars

John Guidry -- drums

Ron Trenchmouth -- bass, perc

Darrel Whore -- guitar

This is a poor man's Dream Syndicate with the guy singing, lazy junky music with half-spoke, half-sung vocals, some decent guitarwork, all compressed in the frequency range of the Velvet Underground but without any artistic aspirations. Not bad. "It's a drag growing old," he says.

THE JEFFERSONS -- Operation: Get Castro's Permission 7"

2009-07-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

CHERRY SMASH RECORDS -- Gainesville (1993)

Radon

Salami (Ceiling Fan)

She's No Moon Maiden

Andy Costello -- drums

Brian Doherty -- bass, vocals

Ivan Osorio -- guitar, vocal on 'Salami'

Kevin Regan -- lead guitar

Thomas D. Walls -- defense of the old republic

This is a star-studded record from a beloved Gainesville band, and I recognize not many punk bands can or at least should be referred to that way. But this is definitely an indie-rock-leaning slab of "officially certified punk rock," as it described on the cover.

The song 'Radon' is sweet -- seemingly nostalgic in advance for events of the present moment -- and supplied the name for another Gainesville band. 'Salami' is hilarious and rocks as well. The B-side reaches for the 'Radon' effect but falls short and is likely doomed to lie face down on many turntables.

Ivan and Kevin ended up in 'F, the Band Formerly Known as the John Birch Society' after the Jeffersons. Ivan also played in Lethal Yellow in Miami in the early 1980s, Sick Dick and the Volswagons later in the 1990s and today is editorial editor at the Competitive Enterprise Institute in Washington DC. Brian Doherty, who released other Gainesville bands on Cherry Smash, is associate editor of Reason Magazine and author of several books including "Radicals for Capitalism: A Freewheeling History of the American Libertarian movement."

There are hints of this nascent intellectualism hidden all over the record, but the band is not without common sense: "Never slice a salami with a ceiling fan, you know that it could prove quite dangerous..."

F -- Four From '84 7" EP

2009-07-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

BURRITO RECORDS -- Fort Lauderdale (1984, 2007)

I Saw Your Vision

Such Men Are Dangerous

Spit It Out

Flash -- voice

Michael Ellis -- bass

Elmo Rapscallion-- guitar

Pete Moss -- drums

This is an interesting and deceptive artifact. Looking at it, you might think this is an early demo of the songs that ended up on "You Are an E.P." After all, "Four From '84" shares three songs from that record. The sound -- slower, thinner and with an arguably better but unarguably more theatrical singer -- sounds like a bedroom version of what ended up being recorded in the studio.

But no sir. This was recorded in the same studio months after 1983's hardcore "You Are an E.P." record by the former (and founding) singer of F who had quit F, refusing to participate in the "You Are an E.P." record due to personal and artistic differences. Well, 'artistic' is a stretch, but you know what I mean. He wanted the music to sound like this disk.

Interestingly, there is zero overlap in band members between these two records, unless Elmo is really Mike "Ravenous Gangrene" Hasson, which is possible. However, Pete Moss played in the hardcore version of this band live and on other recordings and I understand Flash continues to play as F -- with a constantly changing lineup of bandmates -- as of 2009. He started the band and he is finishing it, as the hardcore F has long left the scene.

All four songs are good. A version of the fourth song, "I Saw Your Vision" appeared on the Open Records "Land That Time Forgot" comp in 1982.

THE HATE BOMBS -- She's the Girl

2009-07-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

Speed-O-Meter -- Orlando (1994)

She's the Girl

Know About You

Dave Ewing -- guitar, lead vocal

Scott Sugiuchi -- bass

Ken Chiodini -- drums, vocal

Mick Crowley -- guitar, vocal, harmonica

The Hate Bombs turned into one of the best 60's garage revival bands of the '90s anywhere, not just Florida. Necessarily derivative, they nonetheless transcended other such bands primarily because they are competent songwriters, not just copycats. Of course, they had the schtick down too. They made it work live. The band rocked, audience danced.

This record, their first, hints at this with two originals. 'She's the One' is the standout. It is not not their best, but not a bad place to start. After all, it's where they started.

HARRY PUSSY - “Girl with Frog” 7” EP

2009-07-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

Esync – Miami (1993)

Adris Hoyos – drums, vocals
Bill Orcutt – guitar, vocals

(5 or 6 untitled songs)

Harry Pussy defined their sound on this, their second, record. The first single featured two slower, lumbering improvisational sounding compositions. This time around, there’s still some slower, introspective moments, but, in general, they pick up the pace and put together a style of music all their own. The excellent LP that followed this record would have more of a hardcore punk influence than this EP, but you can start to hear it here. Bill’s completely unique (I hadn’t heard anything like it before) guitar style, Adris’s flailing approach to drumming, their ability to make tuneless screetching sound like art, and a very dry sense of humor about the whole thing, put them miles in front of their noisy peers. I cannot image a worthwhile person passing this record up in a store. The cover alone makes it a mandatory purchase.

DRIVE CHOIR – King of the World / The Box 7”

2009-07-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

Esync Records / Maggot Records– Hialeah (1993)

Johnny Voltage – guitar, vocals
Jeff Fritz – drums, vocals
Carl Carvajal – bass, vocals

Second release from Hialeah’s Drive Choir. King of the World is a fast, catchy as hell power-pop-punk song – think Buzzcocks – all about being king of the world and standing on a pedestal. The Box is a winner too – not as easy to categorize, with occasional weird fruity background vocals. Heironymous Bosch did the cover art for them – not sure if he did the porker on the back cover too. Well produced by Rat Bastard and two other dudes. Kinda strange to hear something this upbeat and cheery from Hialeah.

EVASIVE ACTION – We Bad / Nightstalker 7”

2009-07-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

Majestic records – Anthony (1983)

Jack Sferlazza – guitar, vocals
Spazz Sferlazza – bass, synthesizer, vocals
John Davison – vocals
Billy Pattern – guitar, vocals
Ken Genes – drums
Dawn Kozsey – Keyboards, synthesizers, vocals

I had to google Anthony to figure out where the hell it is. It’s a tiny burg outside Ocala. Yikes. I don’t remember ever hearing about this band, “back in the day”. More than likely they were a cover band that played at the Brown Derby and other sad hotspots. Certain aspects of the cover and song titles might lead one to believe this is somehow related to punk rock / new wave. It is not. “We bad” is a true statement if I ever heard one. Bouncing, fake funk, party-music – yuck. Nightstalker has female vocals and is quite a bit better – though in an early MTV type of way – sort of like a less ept Motels.

VISITORS – Death of a Gunfighter /I’ll Never Know 7”

2009-07-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

Three Equals One – Miami (1983)

Julio Rey – guitar, vocals
Peter – bass
Juan Carlos Noa – drums

All in all, a pretty damn good record – both songs feature good guitar, catchy songs, dodgy production, decent vocals – mid-tempo punk style – nearly everything to make you instant KBD heroes. What held these folks from all the glamour of being Florida punk stars, is the fact that they flaunt the fact that they have fallen victim to a common delusion – the one that a dead man is floating up in space that can read your mind and cares about each and every thought and action that you and everyone else on earth has. It really and truly spoils everything when you realize the songs are not about heroin, the crazy girl down the street or smashing the state – but the floating dead man. Julio Rey subsequently released a solo single and later became the leader of the Lead.

DEAD HOOKERS’ BRIDGE CLUB – The Hoo Dee Hoo 7” EP

2009-07-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

New Art School – Miami (2006)

The Hoo Dee Hoo
Rock’n’Roll Attack
The Love Song
Russian Roulette

Jack Switchblade – bass
Dr. Johnny Thunder, Ph.D – drums
Ace Roller – guitar & vocals

Somehow one of these songs wound up being included in a Burger King toy or something like that. I’m assuming that received decent distribution. This record did not. I had to beg to get a copy. Why doesn’t anyone put their records in record stores anymore??? I’m too damn old to go to every show by every band. Obvious influences are the Cramps, Chuck Berry, 50’s, rockabilly, punk rock and Australianism. Russian Roulette is the standout track – it keeps threatening to fall apart, but hangs together nicely. About 30 years ago, you had a chance of seeing something like the cover art rolling down the street (or better yet – being in the car) – but now? – ain’t gonna happen.

Z-CARS – I Don’t Care / All Dressed Up 7”

2009-07-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

Pressure Records – Miami (1980)

Bruno – drums
Peter Patrick – vocals
Christopher Bacon – guitar & vocals
Ray Harris – bass & vocals

Power pop from Miami minus the power. By 1981 or 1982, it was a given that wearing colorful sneakers didn’t necessarily mean your band was new or exciting. In 1980, Floridians were still figuring that out. I’m sure these dudes kept clubowners happy who never ever wanted to see the Smegmettes on their stage again. The record - each song is fairly non-descript and pleasant enough until the slowdowns in the middle, which are cringe-worthy on both songs.

LOAD -- Pastor's Day

2009-06-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

Faceless Wreckerds -- Fort Lauderdale (1995)

Pastor's Day
Saving You From Your Life
Half Bake

"Saving you from your life...Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

It's this opening of the first song on the B-side that captures everything great about this band, and they were great. Heavy and inspired by pain, these songs are not rebellion against the government or peers or religion or management or any of the usual stuff, but against consciousness, against the senses. All three songs capture this spirit, particularly 'Pastors' and 'Saving.' Load is at their best on this record.

"Shut up, you are killing meeeeeeeeeee!"